Cultural Humorists Gifts

"Greetings, earthling. We used a complex algorithm to make sure we appeared to humankind in a form you would respect and trust."

'of course it is. It's always for one of the kids.'

Government survey into the effects of haggis throwing in Ethiopia.

Polly txt speak

"They're wearing cameras. How humiliating."

"Relax. I just had a vitamin."

"Hic. Gosh and begorrah!" "Wha?"

Football Chameleon

'Yes, all at once!'

'A religious zealot denounces a toaster for working on the Sabbath'

"What the...They wrapped me in toilet paper!"

Alien embryo growing in earth.

'Too late...looks like they've already been pillaged.'

Cloning Dept. Ooh! She's got your eyes and nose, mouth...

The First Fire Stick

Giant Monster in Bath

Another Turning Point in History. Oh, the heck with it -- I'll never get these antlers right. Mickey Moose.

'I'd think you'd be used to having a moat by now.'

"She's a miniature."

"I’ve heard of them barking at the moon, but never scatting at the sun."

"What if we're just a ship in somebody's bottle? Yar, here comes me existential crisis."

'I don't remember this canoe being this heavy, do you Tom?'

'I was told you two have a love-hate relationship. Care to elaborate on that?'

'I hope you ain't got no tax up here!'

Rabies on board - a couple of rabid babies.

Selfish shellfish - 'You kids share your food and stop being shellfish!'

Baby being fed using a lego construction.

'Adam, you left the toilet rock up again!'

"Penny's still having issues grasping 'icing the puck,' but she nailed 'offsides' and 'too many men' today!"

It started friendly enough...'I'm Henry VIII, my dear, but you may call me 'Hank'.'

"No, being declawed is the opposite of being a cyborg!"

"He looks just like your husband."

Cat scratches on a pirate's wooden leg.

"Fangul." Italian sausage.

"Have you tried carbon dating?"