Cultural Humorists Pillows

"Greetings, earthling. We used a complex algorithm to make sure we appeared to humankind in a form you would respect and trust."

'of course it is. It's always for one of the kids.'

Government survey into the effects of haggis throwing in Ethiopia.

Polly txt speak

"They're wearing cameras. How humiliating."

"Relax. I just had a vitamin."

"Hic. Gosh and begorrah!" "Wha?"

Football Chameleon

'Yes, all at once!'

"What the...They wrapped me in toilet paper!"

'A religious zealot denounces a toaster for working on the Sabbath'

Alien embryo growing in earth.

The First Fire Stick

'Too late...looks like they've already been pillaged.'

Cloning Dept. Ooh! She's got your eyes and nose, mouth...

"I’ve heard of them barking at the moon, but never scatting at the sun."

Giant Monster in Bath

'I'd think you'd be used to having a moat by now.'

"She's a miniature."

"What if we're just a ship in somebody's bottle? Yar, here comes me existential crisis."

'I don't remember this canoe being this heavy, do you Tom?'

'I hope you ain't got no tax up here!'

'I was told you two have a love-hate relationship. Care to elaborate on that?'

Baby being fed using a lego construction.

Rabies on board - a couple of rabid babies.

Selfish shellfish - 'You kids share your food and stop being shellfish!'

"No, being declawed is the opposite of being a cyborg!"

"Have you tried carbon dating?"

It started friendly enough...'I'm Henry VIII, my dear, but you may call me 'Hank'.'

"He looks just like your husband."

'Adam, you left the toilet rock up again!'

Cat scratches on a pirate's wooden leg.

"Fangul." Italian sausage.

"Penny's still having issues grasping 'icing the puck,' but she nailed 'offsides' and 'too many men' today!"

'Surely they don't expect us to carry around THAT sort of money?'