Cultural Comedians Pillows

"My humour needs bringing up to date. Do you think the New School might have something?"

'Yes, all at once!'

"Fangul." Italian sausage.

“Pottery Classes – Give it a Whirl!”

Government survey into the effects of haggis throwing in Ethiopia.

The Scottish Lawn

"The last doggy bag."

"When did this game get started?"

Football Delivery

"Oh, don't mind us. We boo everybody."

Now showing - "What's the least noisy film we can chat through?"

Memory Foam Mattress.

'Ok, ok, what about this one? There was an Irishman, an Italian and an Englishman ..'

Keister Island

'Did you know that your lips move when you paint?'

Early Americans found it easier to settle the west coast, where natives were, like, whatever, dude.

'Did you ever realize that we're really drinking coffee out of large sippy cups?'

'Sorry, we serve beer in glasses only. Not in the toilet flush.'

'Scottish Arts Council? I'm looking for sponsorship to help me sit through a performance of Gotterdammerung.'

Pot Needles

"Sure, we live in a cave but do we have to dress like we live in a cave?"

'But Steve, it still doesn't make you kosher!'

"Kfetch!"

A North pole dancer.

"It's an 'Ee by gum' bike."

"The face of the pear-shaped man reminded me of the mashed turnips that Aunt Mildred used to serve alongside the Thanksgiving turkey. As he got out of the strawberry-hued car, his immense fists looked like two slabs of slightly gnawed ham. He waddled over

The leatherhosen thief strikes again!

"Kfetch!"

Political Hipsters

"I'm part Irish on my mother's side."

Bubbie Constrictor

"Greetings, earthling. We used a complex algorithm to make sure we appeared to humankind in a form you would respect and trust."

"Are you a yes man or a no man?"