Humorous Horticulturalist Gifts

Gardening Tools

'Let's see the weeds get up through that!'

"Weeds are like kids. They grow up so fast."

Something Wilted This Way Comes.

'I had a wonderful garden last year. Bark beetles, aphids, mealy worms, thripes, wax seal, gray mold, and grubs!'

'You must be Jim's new gardener. I'm his neighbour, Gerald. Had any luck with the Petunias this year? Aren't those Jim's feet sticking out of the ornamental pond?'

"No! I want to live! I want to live!"

Garden Shop - Top Soil, Bottom Soil (manure)

'Ugh Look The whole garden is just one giant cat toilet'

"When will somebody cut the grass?"

This is NOT 'nipping out'.

Excellent crop! What's your secret?

'You certainly went to town growing all that lettuce so I've dressed for dinner.'

Flamingo on a bird table feeding from a shrimp container.

"What are you in for?"

"There's got to be a better way to raise potatoes!"

'So much for talking to plants. I distinctly heard it tell me to shut up!'

'These spare Christmas decorations make perfect bird scarers.'

'Um. . . I don't think that's a candy bar.'

Bonsai Exhibit

The Last Days of a Hydrangea

Little Farm Shop of Horrors with G.M produce turned into man eating plant

Annual flower having a mid-life crisis in July

Man is injured transporting cacti.

Executive grows martinis in his garden.

The beautiful but deadly 'Venus dog trap'.

Bird baths with two different kinds of water - sparkling and still.

Bird feeder being used by vultures.

'Fred's opinion of crab grass is if you can't beat it, join it.'

"Must've planted those seeds upside down..."

'The grass is always greener on the other side seed'.

'It's only a slug Norman.'

Plants to Avoid - Creeping Wallenda

Hose and Flower in Perfect Harmony.

'We want the garden to be stamped with my husband's personality.'