Humorous Botanist Gifts

'You must be Jim's new gardener. I'm his neighbour, Gerald. Had any luck with the Petunias this year? Aren't those Jim's feet sticking out of the ornamental pond?'

Excellent crop! What's your secret?

"I don't know the Latin, but the common name is climbing onion."

'Remove the fur and claws and these genetically engineered apples taste just fine.'

"I wouldn't take the name 'dog strangling vine' literally."

"Weeds are like kids. They grow up so fast."

Little Farm Shop of Horrors with G.M produce turned into man eating plant

Executive grows martinis in his garden.

The beautiful but deadly 'Venus dog trap'.

"Where are the perineums?" "Aisle 3. Between the vaginas and the rectums."

"Yes, sir, it's Houstonia Michauxii and it prefers shade or semi-shade."

Garden Shop: Pig $#!@ and Sheep $#!@

"Psst...The grass is a plant!"

Woman Planting Flowers in her Snow Covered Garden.

"You know you've been acting really stuck-up ever. Since you got that stand."

"Don't worry, the pain will stop once everything goes numb."

"I've discovered why it isn't cutting the grass properly - it's a vacuum cleaner."

Mystery vegetable growing in plot.

Venus fly trap.

"I see you've laid out your garden."

Talk to your plants - but never enter a suicide pact with one.

I've discovered green fingers are of little help if you've got bad breath.

Cactus Hold Up

"...Father Gill would not accept that whistling could not be a substitute for water."

Bathing Flowers.

Gardener's Calendar: Keep an eye open for pests

"What seems to be the problem?"

"It's a crank call - just heavy transpiration."

'You haven't been talking to it, you've been nagging it.'

Will Work for Manure

"It seems that a flower is just a weed in drag!"

"The hair growth formula didn't help Bob...so we're trying it in the garden!"

Belching plant