Comical Botanist Gifts

Williamsii Carnia

Excellent crop! What's your secret?

"I don't know the Latin, but the common name is climbing onion."

'Remove the fur and claws and these genetically engineered apples taste just fine.'

"I wouldn't take the name 'dog strangling vine' literally."

"Weeds are like kids. They grow up so fast."

Little Farm Shop of Horrors with G.M produce turned into man eating plant

Executive grows martinis in his garden.

The beautiful but deadly 'Venus dog trap'.

"Yes, sir, it's Houstonia Michauxii and it prefers shade or semi-shade."

"Where are the perineums?" "Aisle 3. Between the vaginas and the rectums."

"Psst...The grass is a plant!"

"Can you believe we walked right past security?"

'A remarkable specimen. It's a bonsai oak but badly affected by giantism.'

"The scientists never stopped to ask if they should - only if they could."

Escaping Flowers

Woman Planting Flowers in her Snow Covered Garden.

'I've decided to go straight!'

"I think it's a Spider Plant bite."

"Don't worry, the pain will stop once everything goes numb."

"I've discovered why it isn't cutting the grass properly - it's a vacuum cleaner."

Venus fly trap.

Mystery vegetable growing in plot.

Talk to your plants - but never enter a suicide pact with one.

"I see you've laid out your garden."

Bathing Flowers.

"It's a crank call - just heavy transpiration."

I've discovered green fingers are of little help if you've got bad breath.

"...Father Gill would not accept that whistling could not be a substitute for water."

"What seems to be the problem?"

Gardener's Calendar: Keep an eye open for pests

'You haven't been talking to it, you've been nagging it.'

Plants and Flowers Crack Jokes.

Will Work for Manure