Botanical Comedian Gifts

'That so turns me on.'

'I think it's a creeper...'

"I thought you'd like it. It's an orchid. pre-neglected!"

'Couldn't Peter claim Mr. McGregor's garden was an 'attractive nuisance?'

"I said the males were 'evolving' – I didn't say they were 'maturing.'"

'If Earwigs looked like baby seals:'

'Hang on a minute: What does 'IVF' mean?!'

"Walking erect is very trendy now."

'Ugh Look The whole garden is just one giant cat toilet'

'I hate to say I told you so, Larry, but that's why you check your car for bears before you put on your seatbelt.'

"Grapes, Rye, Malt... I got into this through my vegetarianism."

Man looks at huge dinosaur fossil in garden, saying: 'It looks great in the rockery, but don't you think you should call the Natural History Museum?'

"When will somebody cut the grass?"

"Peach fuzz. How does a nectarine know when it reaches puberty?"

Penguin

Just a little seasoning...

'In the alternate universe I've come up with, everything would be exactly the same except cats would bark.'

Man lets his pigeons out to be fed in the park.

"I'm a monster."

'And I thought I had a big egg to lay.'

Flamingo on a bird table feeding from a shrimp container.

"There's got to be a better way to raise potatoes!"

'You certainly went to town growing all that lettuce so I've dressed for dinner.'

'Catch this!'

'These spare Christmas decorations make perfect bird scarers.'

"I wouldn't take the name 'dog strangling vine' literally."

Sawfish cuts through the oars of row boat.

'Um. . . I don't think that's a candy bar.'

"I see you have extensive wood chuckery experience."

'It's a government funded study to find out how many wrongs make a right.'

Little Farm Shop of Horrors with G.M produce turned into man eating plant

Annual flower having a mid-life crisis in July

Alligator Bars

'Sorry Bruce, but we have to stop seeing each other: I've changed, you have to understand...'

Evolution...the booted flamingo.