Plant Humorist Gifts

'I think one of us must be a plant.'

Wordilly Durdillies - A Venus Fly Trap

"Harold, are you in here?"

"Guess what - I got tired of the bonsai tree!"

'I think it's a creeper...'

Bathing Flowers.

"I see you've laid out your garden."

"It's how he would have wanted to go."

"Grapes, Rye, Malt... I got into this through my vegetarianism."

"What's orange and sounds like a parrot? A carrot!"

"The vegetables have gone bad!"

"I wouldn't take the name 'dog strangling vine' literally."

Little Farm Shop of Horrors with G.M produce turned into man eating plant

The beautiful but deadly 'Venus dog trap'.

"Where are the perineums?" "Aisle 3. Between the vaginas and the rectums."

Water the hydrangeas twice a week and trim as needed. The bromeliad only needs to be high-fives on Saturday, but you can give it high and low fives anytime you have a spare moment. Just, whatever you do, don't give it a "too slow" or it will turn inward and begin shutting down.

"Yes, sir, it's Houstonia Michauxii and it prefers shade or semi-shade."

"... And that's an 18-pound piece of tofu I shot at Whole Foods."

Broccoli reading: 'Coping with Anthropomorphism'.

'... And I now insert the brai ... Egor, this is a cauliflower.'

"Psst...The grass is a plant!"

Eye Bank.

Even garden plants like to visit.

F&E Landscape Architects. Ground cover plants are the Peter Pan of landscape design. The never "grow up"!

Woolly tofu.

Midnight in the Vegetable Garden of Good and Evil.

"Don't worry, the pain will stop once everything goes numb."

"You know you've been acting really stuck-up ever. Since you got that stand."

An Artichoke choking on some food

"They were monsters! That's the last time I babysit for the children of the corn."

'I don't think I've ever had an eggplant before!'

'He grew on me and he's been watering himself ever since!'

Venus fly trap.

"It's a couch, not a settee, you posh git!"

"What seems to be the problem?"