Plant Humorist Gifts

'I think one of us must be a plant.'

Wordilly Durdillies - A Venus Fly Trap

"Harold, are you in here?"

"Guess what - I got tired of the bonsai tree!"

'I think it's a creeper...'

Bathing Flowers.

"I see you've laid out your garden."

"It's how he would have wanted to go."

"Grapes, Rye, Malt... I got into this through my vegetarianism."

"What's orange and sounds like a parrot? A carrot!"

"The vegetables have gone bad!"

"I wouldn't take the name 'dog strangling vine' literally."

Little Farm Shop of Horrors with G.M produce turned into man eating plant

The beautiful but deadly 'Venus dog trap'.

"Yes, sir, it's Houstonia Michauxii and it prefers shade or semi-shade."

"... And that's an 18-pound piece of tofu I shot at Whole Foods."

Broccoli reading: 'Coping with Anthropomorphism'.

Water the hydrangeas twice a week and trim as needed. The bromeliad only needs to be high-fives on Saturday, but you can give it high and low fives anytime you have a spare moment. Just, whatever you do, don't give it a "too slow" or it will turn inward and begin shutting down.

"Where are the perineums?" "Aisle 3. Between the vaginas and the rectums."

'... And I now insert the brai ... Egor, this is a cauliflower.'

Even garden plants like to visit.

"Psst...The grass is a plant!"

Midnight in the Vegetable Garden of Good and Evil.

Woolly tofu.

"They were monsters! That's the last time I babysit for the children of the corn."

"You know you've been acting really stuck-up ever. Since you got that stand."

'He grew on me and he's been watering himself ever since!'

An Artichoke choking on some food

'I don't think I've ever had an eggplant before!'

"Don't worry, the pain will stop once everything goes numb."

"It's a couch, not a settee, you posh git!"

Venus fly trap.

"It's a crank call - just heavy transpiration."

"Your momma lied to you, boy."

"What seems to be the problem?"