Plant Humor Enthusiast Gifts

"Don't worry, the pain will stop once everything goes numb."

"Yes, sir, it's Houstonia Michauxii and it prefers shade or semi-shade."

'..and we thank thee for these bio-engineered vegetables..'

"He treated associates like he treated his plants."

"I wouldn't take the name 'dog strangling vine' literally."

Flytrap nerd.

Even garden plants like to visit.

Woolly tofu.

"You know you've been acting really stuck-up ever. Since you got that stand."

'He grew on me and he's been watering himself ever since!'

Say it with cacti

"Good news - he's in a vegetative state."

'Say when.'

"I see you've laid out your garden."

Cactus Hold Up

Bathing Flowers.

"Bloody cowslips!"

"Wouldn't this one look nice shrivelled up in the kitchen?"

"Wordplay - transplant. I used to be a gladiola."

...wait a minute. It's not really National Hot Dog Day?!

Undignified Exits of the Plant World

Flower pot tries to escape to the next balcony.

Bro Miliads

"I warned him not to go vegan."

'I think one of us must be a plant.'

"Then I said, 'So what does a lesbian vegan Wiccan do for fun?'"

"Don't worry about that, the staff can't seem to keep anything alive around here."

'It appears you have dry scalp.'

"Peweeew! Drop your arms, please. Your arm pits are foul."

"Don't be embarrassed. Lots of men your age use Miracle-Gro."

'I'm not a vegetarian because I love animals - I'm a vegetarin because I hate plants.'

'We can't wait to get into a bed with you lot!'