Plant Lover's Humor Gifts

"You know you've been acting really stuck-up ever. Since you got that stand."

'..and we thank thee for these bio-engineered vegetables..'

"He treated associates like he treated his plants."

"I wouldn't take the name 'dog strangling vine' literally."

Flytrap nerd.

"Yes, sir, it's Houstonia Michauxii and it prefers shade or semi-shade."

Even garden plants like to visit.

Square Yard

Woolly tofu.

"Good news - he's in a vegetative state."

Say it with cacti

"Don't worry, the pain will stop once everything goes numb."

'He grew on me and he's been watering himself ever since!'

'Say when.'

Cactus Hold Up

Bathing Flowers.

"I see you've laid out your garden."

'I've told you before, I don't like broccoli.'

"Bloody cowslips!"

"Wordplay - transplant. I used to be a gladiola."

"Wouldn't this one look nice shrivelled up in the kitchen?"

Undignified Exits of the Plant World

"I warned him not to go vegan."

Flower pot tries to escape to the next balcony.

"I think you'd better switch the water feature off."

...wait a minute. It's not really National Hot Dog Day?!

'There goes the scourge of this county.'

November: Your lawn will have stopped growing now.

Bro Miliads

'I think one of us must be a plant.'

"Then I said, 'So what does a lesbian vegan Wiccan do for fun?'"

"Don't worry about that, the staff can't seem to keep anything alive around here."

"Excuse me, I have a cold."