Funny Plant Lover Gifts

'Say when.'

'..and we thank thee for these bio-engineered vegetables..'

"Maureen Alsop is leaving her magnolia, and her delphinium and her cats with us this weekend."

"Have you guys seen my recent collab with the universe?"

"Which of these will look the prettiest without the others?"

Herbophiles protest mass killings of plants.

Mantis Love

Bonsai tree held up by matchstick

Gardening#2

Water the hydrangeas twice a week and trim as needed. The bromeliad only needs to be high-fived on Saturday, but you can give it high and low fives anytime you have a spare moment. Just, whatever you do, don't give it a "too slow" or it will turn inward and begin shutting down.

"He treated associates like he treated his plants."

"No, dude. Smoke the grass first. Then eat the candy."

"I do like a plant that can hold its drink"

A Venus cow trap.

'Well doctor that will be the Mabato Tree Snake.'

Undignified Exits of the Planet World: Geronimo!

Pea

Person carrying balloons and plants.

'Oh my - hasn't he grown!'

Poinsettia

"I wouldn't take the name 'dog strangling vine' literally."

"Things are getting really bad around here. Phil, the office plant, was just let go."

"You've definitely got water retention..."

Pollination Process

'Oh my Gawd! He's a weed!'

"I've just got this thing about hanging baskets"

"We only test our drugs on plants, so we have to do lots and lots of extrapolating."

"May I remind you that our prenuptial agreement called for me to take the plants?"

"I called you my little succulent because you're low maintenance."

Biotechnology in agriculture

"It's inoperable and perennial."

The beautiful but deadly 'Venus dog trap'.