Plant Humor Aficionado Gifts

Cactus Hold Up

'..and we thank thee for these bio-engineered vegetables..'

Excellent crop! What's your secret?

"Weeds are like kids. They grow up so fast."

"I wouldn't take the name 'dog strangling vine' literally."

Executive grows martinis in his garden.

Flytrap nerd.

"Yes, sir, it's Houstonia Michauxii and it prefers shade or semi-shade."

Even garden plants like to visit.

Woman Planting Flowers in her Snow Covered Garden.

Woolly tofu.

"Don't worry, the pain will stop once everything goes numb."

Say it with cacti

"You know you've been acting really stuck-up ever. Since you got that stand."

'He grew on me and he's been watering himself ever since!'

Mystery vegetable growing in plot.

'Say when.'

I've discovered green fingers are of little help if you've got bad breath.

"I see you've laid out your garden."

Bathing Flowers.

'You haven't been talking to it, you've been nagging it.'

"Bloody cowslips!"

Flower pot tries to escape to the next balcony.

"I warned him not to go vegan."

Bro Miliads

...wait a minute. It's not really National Hot Dog Day?!

Undignified Exits of the Plant World

"Wouldn't this one look nice shrivelled up in the kitchen?"

'I think one of us must be a plant.'

"Then I said, 'So what does a lesbian vegan Wiccan do for fun?'"

"Don't worry about that, the staff can't seem to keep anything alive around here."

'It appears you have dry scalp.'

"Peweeew! Drop your arms, please. Your arm pits are foul."