Plant-based Humor Lover Gifts

"Then I said, 'So what does a lesbian vegan Wiccan do for fun?'"

"It's how he would have wanted to go."

"Grapes, Rye, Malt... I got into this through my vegetarianism."

"What's orange and sounds like a parrot? A carrot!"

"I wouldn't take the name 'dog strangling vine' literally."

"The vegetables have gone bad!"

"... And that's an 18-pound piece of tofu I shot at Whole Foods."

"Yes, sir, it's Houstonia Michauxii and it prefers shade or semi-shade."

Broccoli reading: 'Coping with Anthropomorphism'.

'... And I now insert the brai ... Egor, this is a cauliflower.'

'The vegetarians are the smug-looking ones...'

Even garden plants like to visit.

Woolly tofu.

Midnight in the Vegetable Garden of Good and Evil.

'And I can do the procedure right here in my office.'

'I don't think I've ever had an eggplant before!'

An Artichoke choking on some food

"They were monsters! That's the last time I babysit for the children of the corn."

'He grew on me and he's been watering himself ever since!'

"Mr. Whopple, time to slow down on the veggie diet!"

"You know you've been acting really stuck-up ever. Since you got that stand."

"Don't worry, the pain will stop once everything goes numb."

"It's a couch, not a settee, you posh git!"

"I see you've laid out your garden."

Cactus Hold Up

Bathing Flowers.

"Your momma lied to you, boy."

A couple of criminal pickles 'jar jack' a pickle jar.

"They're excellent for the eyes."

"I warned him not to go vegan."

Cucumbersome

"I'm looking for ground beef that's organic, non-GMO, and doesn't contain meat."

Undignified Exits of the Plant World

Vegetables watch a TV show called 'I'm a Celeriac ??" Get Me Out of Here!'