Plant Humor Enthusiast Pillows

"Don't worry, the pain will stop once everything goes numb."

"Yes, sir, it's Houstonia Michauxii and it prefers shade or semi-shade."

'..and we thank thee for these bio-engineered vegetables..'

"He treated associates like he treated his plants."

"What are you in for?"

"I wouldn't take the name 'dog strangling vine' literally."

Flytrap nerd.

Cover my mouth when I cough? with what?

F&E Landscape Architects. Ground cover plants are the Peter Pan of landscape design. The never "grow up"!

Even garden plants like to visit.

Woolly tofu.

"You know you've been acting really stuck-up ever. Since you got that stand."

Say it with cacti

'He grew on me and he's been watering himself ever since!'

"Good news - he's in a vegetative state."

'Say when.'

"I see you've laid out your garden."

Bathing Flowers.

Cactus Hold Up

"Bloody cowslips!"

Undignified Exits of the Plant World

Bro Miliads

Flower pot tries to escape to the next balcony.

"Wordplay - transplant. I used to be a gladiola."

"Wouldn't this one look nice shrivelled up in the kitchen?"

"I warned him not to go vegan."

...wait a minute. It's not really National Hot Dog Day?!

'I think one of us must be a plant.'

"Then I said, 'So what does a lesbian vegan Wiccan do for fun?'"

"Don't worry about that, the staff can't seem to keep anything alive around here."

'It appears you have dry scalp.'

"Peweeew! Drop your arms, please. Your arm pits are foul."

Vegan Burgers. We're expanding output, but you created confusion by telling customers that we're "beefing up" production.

"Don't be embarrassed. Lots of men your age use Miracle-Gro."

'I'm not a vegetarian because I love animals - I'm a vegetarin because I hate plants.'