Plant Humor Lover Pillows

"Peweeew! Drop your arms, please. Your arm pits are foul."

'..and we thank thee for these bio-engineered vegetables..'

"He treated associates like he treated his plants."

"I wouldn't take the name 'dog strangling vine' literally."

Flytrap nerd.

"Yes, sir, it's Houstonia Michauxii and it prefers shade or semi-shade."

Even garden plants like to visit.

Woolly tofu.

"Good news - he's in a vegetative state."

'He grew on me and he's been watering himself ever since!'

Say it with cacti

"You know you've been acting really stuck-up ever. Since you got that stand."

"Don't worry, the pain will stop once everything goes numb."

'Say when.'

"I see you've laid out your garden."

Bathing Flowers.

Cactus Hold Up

"Johnson, look at the lilies of the field. They neither spin nor toil. Fire them."

"Bloody cowslips!"

"Wordplay - transplant. I used to be a gladiola."

Undignified Exits of the Plant World

...wait a minute. It's not really National Hot Dog Day?!

"I'm not sure what you've got, but then I'm no horticulturist."

Bro Miliads

"Wouldn't this one look nice shrivelled up in the kitchen?"

"I warned him not to go vegan."

'I think one of us must be a plant.'

"Then I said, 'So what does a lesbian vegan Wiccan do for fun?'"

"Don't worry about that, the staff can't seem to keep anything alive around here."

'It appears you have dry scalp.'

"Don't be embarrassed. Lots of men your age use Miracle-Gro."

"I think I'll start with the fly soup."

'I'm not a vegetarian because I love animals - I'm a vegetarin because I hate plants.'