Plant Lover With A Sense Of Humor Pillows

"Don't worry about that, the staff can't seem to keep anything alive around here."

The Talking Cloche.

'He grew on me and he's been watering himself ever since!'

Water the hydrangeas twice a week and trim as needed. The bromeliad only needs to be high-fived on Saturday, but you can give it high and low fives anytime you have a spare moment. Just, whatever you do, don't give it a "too slow" or it will turn inward and begin shutting down.

Bonsai tree held up by matchstick

"He treated associates like he treated his plants."

"What are you in for?"

"Weeds are like kids. They grow up so fast."

Executive grows martinis in his garden.

"Yes, sir, it's Houstonia Michauxii and it prefers shade or semi-shade."

Wet weather footwear - shoes that are shaped like boats.

Cover my mouth when I cough? with what?

'I tried to tell him I didn't think it was a tomato.'

Cactus Man.

Woolly tofu.

"Good news - he's in a vegetative state."

"Don't worry, the pain will stop once everything goes numb."

"You know you've been acting really stuck-up ever. Since you got that stand."

Robert Plant.

'Try to remember what it said on the packet.'

'Say when.'

Bathing Flowers.

Cactus Hold Up

"I see you've laid out your garden."

'I think you've talked it to death, dear.'

"You had me at plant based diet..."

"Wouldn't this one look nice shrivelled up in the kitchen?"

Undignified Exits of the Plant World

Charging a plant

"Wordplay - transplant. I used to be a gladiola."

"I'm sorry, but your bonsai triffid will have to go."

'I think one of us must be a plant.'

"Then I said, 'So what does a lesbian vegan Wiccan do for fun?'"

'It appears you have dry scalp.'

Chicken Soup for the Vegan Soul.