Plant-based Humor Aficionado Pillows

Woolly tofu.

"It's how he would have wanted to go."

"Grapes, Rye, Malt... I got into this through my vegetarianism."

"What's orange and sounds like a parrot? A carrot!"

"The vegetables have gone bad!"

"I wouldn't take the name 'dog strangling vine' literally."

"... And that's an 18-pound piece of tofu I shot at Whole Foods."

Broccoli reading: 'Coping with Anthropomorphism'.

"Yes, sir, it's Houstonia Michauxii and it prefers shade or semi-shade."

'... And I now insert the brai ... Egor, this is a cauliflower.'

'The vegetarians are the smug-looking ones...'

Eye Bank.

Even garden plants like to visit.

Midnight in the Vegetable Garden of Good and Evil.

'And I can do the procedure right here in my office.'

"Mr. Whopple, time to slow down on the veggie diet!"

'I don't think I've ever had an eggplant before!'

An Artichoke choking on some food

'He grew on me and he's been watering himself ever since!'

"Don't worry, the pain will stop once everything goes numb."

"They were monsters! That's the last time I babysit for the children of the corn."

"You know you've been acting really stuck-up ever. Since you got that stand."

"It's a couch, not a settee, you posh git!"

Bathing Flowers.

Cactus Hold Up

"Your momma lied to you, boy."

"I see you've laid out your garden."

A couple of criminal pickles 'jar jack' a pickle jar.

"I'm looking for ground beef that's organic, non-GMO, and doesn't contain meat."

The giant liberal carrot I created cannot be stopped. We can't kill it. That would be like killing me. House of Java.net Cybercafe. But I've thought of a way to neutralize it. Through a connection at Fox News, I got hold of some Sean Hannity DNA. Dear god. Trump lies. Carrots are weak on defense!

"They're excellent for the eyes."

"I warned him not to go vegan."

Vegetables watch a TV show called 'I'm a Celeriac ??" Get Me Out of Here!'

Cucumbersome

Undignified Exits of the Plant World