Plant-based Humor Aficionado Pillows

Woolly tofu.

"It's how he would have wanted to go."

"Grapes, Rye, Malt... I got into this through my vegetarianism."

"What's orange and sounds like a parrot? A carrot!"

"The vegetables have gone bad!"

"I wouldn't take the name 'dog strangling vine' literally."

"... And that's an 18-pound piece of tofu I shot at Whole Foods."

"Yes, sir, it's Houstonia Michauxii and it prefers shade or semi-shade."

Broccoli reading: 'Coping with Anthropomorphism'.

'... And I now insert the brai ... Egor, this is a cauliflower.'

'The vegetarians are the smug-looking ones...'

Even garden plants like to visit.

'And I can do the procedure right here in my office.'

Midnight in the Vegetable Garden of Good and Evil.

An Artichoke choking on some food

'I don't think I've ever had an eggplant before!'

'He grew on me and he's been watering himself ever since!'

"They were monsters! That's the last time I babysit for the children of the corn."

"Don't worry, the pain will stop once everything goes numb."

"Mr. Whopple, time to slow down on the veggie diet!"

"You know you've been acting really stuck-up ever. Since you got that stand."

"It's a couch, not a settee, you posh git!"

Bathing Flowers.

Cactus Hold Up

"I see you've laid out your garden."

"Your momma lied to you, boy."

A couple of criminal pickles 'jar jack' a pickle jar.

"I'm looking for ground beef that's organic, non-GMO, and doesn't contain meat."

"I warned him not to go vegan."

"They're excellent for the eyes."

Cucumbersome

Vegetables watch a TV show called 'I'm a Celeriac ??" Get Me Out of Here!'

Undignified Exits of the Plant World

Corn Plaster