Plant-based Humorist Pillows

"It's how he would have wanted to go."

'Ugh Look The whole garden is just one giant cat toilet'

Herbophiles protest mass killings of plants.

"Two vegans, please."

"Grapes, Rye, Malt... I got into this through my vegetarianism."

'I'm going to try that 'vegan' thing, Joe -- give me some beer nuts.'

'I told you it wouldn't work.'

"I don't care if it's plant-based, you're creeping everyone out."

'You certainly went to town growing all that lettuce so I've dressed for dinner.'

"What's orange and sounds like a parrot? A carrot!"

"The vegetables have gone bad!"

Little Farm Shop of Horrors with G.M produce turned into man eating plant

Two vegetarians please.

Free salad bar.

Man is injured transporting cacti.

The beautiful but deadly 'Venus dog trap'.

"Hey, this is just a bun!" "Help yourself to the mustard."

A sheep ordering in a restaurant - the sole item on the menu is grass.

At home with the leeches: 'No, you can't have a Quorn tartlet - just drink your blood and be quiet!'

Broccoli reading: 'Coping with Anthropomorphism'.

"... And that's an 18-pound piece of tofu I shot at Whole Foods."

Water the hydrangeas twice a week and trim as needed. The bromeliad only needs to be high-fives on Saturday, but you can give it high and low fives anytime you have a spare moment. Just, whatever you do, don't give it a "too slow" or it will turn inward and begin shutting down.

"Where are the perineums?" "Aisle 3. Between the vaginas and the rectums."

The vegan hunter

"Tell your date you're a vegetarian before he orders that expensive gourmet dinner."

Spinach Dating.

"Yes, sir, it's Houstonia Michauxii and it prefers shade or semi-shade."

'... And I now insert the brai ... Egor, this is a cauliflower.'

"And your tofu, would you like food with that?"

"Y a qué de la salade?"

"Lift your stems."

Avoid Constant Borrowing

"Psst...The grass is a plant!"