Botanical Humorist Pillows

"Oh, don't worry. I'm a vegetarian."

Little Farm Shop of Horrors with G.M produce turned into man eating plant

"You should see a doctor about those varicose vines."

Venus fly trap.

"What seems to be the problem?"

"It seems that a flower is just a weed in drag!"

"Peweeew! Drop your arms, please. Your arm pits are foul."

"The hair growth formula didn't help Bob...so we're trying it in the garden!"

"Psst...The grass is a plant!"

The beautiful but deadly 'Venus dog trap'.

Belching plant

Rejected State Flowers

'Honey have you seen my Viagra'

After you finish picking the poppies for opium, don't forget to save some seeds for my lemon muffins.

"It's a crank call - just heavy transpiration."

"Where are the perineums?" "Aisle 3. Between the vaginas and the rectums."

"Run, Roslyn! Your kale is out of control!"

"Do any of you (hic) have any idea of the sort of pressure (hic) it takes to actually be the state flower?!"

'You must be Jim's new gardener. I'm his neighbour, Gerald. Had any luck with the Petunias this year? Aren't those Jim's feet sticking out of the ornamental pond?'

'You'll get five paid sick days, plus an additional two when you're shedding your skin.'

Medicinal plants

Excellent crop! What's your secret?

"When will somebody cut the grass?"

"There's got to be a better way to raise potatoes!"

Flamingo on a bird table feeding from a shrimp container.

'These spare Christmas decorations make perfect bird scarers.'

"Weeds are like kids. They grow up so fast."

"I wouldn't take the name 'dog strangling vine' literally."

Modern Witch Shoppe

'Um. . . I don't think that's a candy bar.'

Annual flower having a mid-life crisis in July

Bird feeder being used by vultures.

Bird baths with two different kinds of water - sparkling and still.

Executive grows martinis in his garden.

"Must've planted those seeds upside down..."