Botanical Humor Enthusiast Pillows

The Blue Palo Verde

"Do you want a total check-up or just a cleaning?"

Excellent crop! What's your secret?

"Weeds are like kids. They grow up so fast."

"I wouldn't take the name 'dog strangling vine' literally."

Little Farm Shop of Horrors with G.M produce turned into man eating plant

Executive grows martinis in his garden.

The beautiful but deadly 'Venus dog trap'.

"Where are the perineums?" "Aisle 3. Between the vaginas and the rectums."

"Yes, sir, it's Houstonia Michauxii and it prefers shade or semi-shade."

F&E Landscape Architects. Ground cover plants are the Peter Pan of landscape design. The never "grow up"!

"Psst...The grass is a plant!"

Woman Planting Flowers in her Snow Covered Garden.

Woolly tofu.

"I think it's a Spider Plant bite."

"You know you've been acting really stuck-up ever. Since you got that stand."

"Don't worry, the pain will stop once everything goes numb."

'I've decided to go straight!'

Venus fly trap.

Mystery vegetable growing in plot.

Cactus Hold Up

I've discovered green fingers are of little help if you've got bad breath.

Bathing Flowers.

"I see you've laid out your garden."

"What seems to be the problem?"

'Honey have you seen my Viagra'

"It's a crank call - just heavy transpiration."

'You haven't been talking to it, you've been nagging it.'

'I think you've talked it to death, dear.'

Flower pot tries to escape to the next balcony.

"It seems that a flower is just a weed in drag!"

"The hair growth formula didn't help Bob...so we're trying it in the garden!"

Belching plant

"I warned him not to go vegan."

After you finish picking the poppies for opium, don't forget to save some seeds for my lemon muffins.