Botanical Humor Lover Pillows

"I wouldn't take the name 'dog strangling vine' literally."

Alpestris Laxifolius

"I warned him not to go vegan."

Little Farm Shop of Horrors with G.M produce turned into man eating plant

The beautiful but deadly 'Venus dog trap'.

"Yes, sir, it's Houstonia Michauxii and it prefers shade or semi-shade."

"Where are the perineums?" "Aisle 3. Between the vaginas and the rectums."

"Psst...The grass is a plant!"

Woolly tofu.

"You know you've been acting really stuck-up ever. Since you got that stand."

"Don't worry, the pain will stop once everything goes numb."

'I've decided to go straight!'

Venus fly trap.

'Say when.'

"I see you've laid out your garden."

"What seems to be the problem?"

"It's a crank call - just heavy transpiration."

Cactus Hold Up

Bathing Flowers.

'I've told you before, I don't like broccoli.'

"Johnson, look at the lilies of the field. They neither spin nor toil. Fire them."

'I think you've talked it to death, dear.'

"It seems that a flower is just a weed in drag!"

'There goes the scourge of this county.'

'The bad news is, it didn't grow hair. The good news is, he's being featured in 'Better Homes and Gardens'.' (Quick Gro tub next to chair.)

Undignified Exits of the Plant World

Bro Miliads

November: Your lawn will have stopped growing now.

"I think you'd better switch the water feature off."

"The hair growth formula didn't help Bob...so we're trying it in the garden!"

Belching plant

"I thought you'd like it. It's an orchid. pre-neglected!"

Rejected State Flowers

'I think one of us must be a plant.'

"Then I said, 'So what does a lesbian vegan Wiccan do for fun?'"