Vegetable Humorist Pillows

'... And I now insert the brai ... Egor, this is a cauliflower.'

A couple of criminal pickles 'jar jack' a pickle jar.

"It's a couch, not a settee, you posh git!"

Midnight in the Vegetable Garden of Good and Evil.

An Artichoke choking on some food

"And your mother says you didn't eat your spinach when you were seven!"

"Your momma lied to you, boy."

"They were monsters! That's the last time I babysit for the children of the corn."

"The vegetables have gone bad!"

'I think your carrots have bee radicalised.'

Cucumbersome

'I don't think I've ever had an eggplant before!'

Broccoli reading: 'Coping with Anthropomorphism'.

'A P-Pod Never heard of that before.'

"What's orange and sounds like a parrot? A carrot!"

"It's how he would have wanted to go."

"They're excellent for the eyes."

"Two vegans, please."

Man Eating Minimalist Meal

Herbophiles protest mass killings of plants.

MUSHROOM MASACRE.

"Grapes, Rye, Malt... I got into this through my vegetarianism."

'I told you it wouldn't work.'

'I'm going to try that 'vegan' thing, Joe -- give me some beer nuts.'

"I don't care if it's plant-based, you're creeping everyone out."

Shawn considered himself a vegetarian by proxy.

"Which one on table three has gone for the vegetarian option?"

A sheep ordering in a restaurant - the sole item on the menu is grass.

"Hey, this is just a bun!" "Help yourself to the mustard."

Two vegetarians please.

Free salad bar.

At home with the leeches: 'No, you can't have a Quorn tartlet - just drink your blood and be quiet!'

Spinach Dating.

"Tell your date you're a vegetarian before he orders that expensive gourmet dinner."

The vegan hunter