Vegetable Humorist Gifts

'... And I now insert the brai ... Egor, this is a cauliflower.'

A couple of criminal pickles 'jar jack' a pickle jar.

"It's a couch, not a settee, you posh git!"

'Wow, if peas in a pod can't get along, things are worse than I thought.'

Midnight in the Vegetable Garden of Good and Evil.

An Artichoke choking on some food

"And your mother says you didn't eat your spinach when you were seven!"

"Your momma lied to you, boy."

"They were monsters! That's the last time I babysit for the children of the corn."

"The vegetables have gone bad!"

'I think your carrots have bee radicalised.'

Eye Bank.

Cucumbersome

'I don't think I've ever had an eggplant before!'

Broccoli reading: 'Coping with Anthropomorphism'.

'A P-Pod Never heard of that before.'

"What's orange and sounds like a parrot? A carrot!"

The giant liberal carrot I created cannot be stopped. We can't kill it. That would be like killing me. House of Java.net Cybercafe. But I've thought of a way to neutralize it. Through a connection at Fox News, I got hold of some Sean Hannity DNA. Dear god. Trump lies. Carrots are weak on defense!

"It's how he would have wanted to go."

"They're excellent for the eyes."

"Two vegans, please."

Herbophiles protest mass killings of plants.

Man Eating Minimalist Meal

MUSHROOM MASACRE.

"Grapes, Rye, Malt... I got into this through my vegetarianism."

'I told you it wouldn't work.'

'I'm going to try that 'vegan' thing, Joe -- give me some beer nuts.'

"I don't care if it's plant-based, you're creeping everyone out."

Shawn considered himself a vegetarian by proxy.

"Which one on table three has gone for the vegetarian option?"

A sheep ordering in a restaurant - the sole item on the menu is grass.

Two vegetarians please.

"Hey, this is just a bun!" "Help yourself to the mustard."

Free salad bar.

At home with the leeches: 'No, you can't have a Quorn tartlet - just drink your blood and be quiet!'