Vegetarian Humor Gifts

Dressing a chicken

'First of all, he can't live on sunflower seeds alone!'

"Brrroccollliii...brrroccollliii...I told you I was a vegetarian when we met, Dwayne, so get over it!"

"It's how he would have wanted to go."

Herbophiles protest mass killings of plants.

Man Eating Minimalist Meal

MUSHROOM MASACRE.

"Grapes, Rye, Malt... I got into this through my vegetarianism."

'I told you it wouldn't work.'

"What's orange and sounds like a parrot? A carrot!"

Vegan Restaurant: ''amburgers! Sausages! RISSOLES!'

"The vegetables have gone bad!"

Shawn considered himself a vegetarian by proxy.

"Hey, this is just a bun!" "Help yourself to the mustard."

A sheep ordering in a restaurant - the sole item on the menu is grass.

Two vegetarians please.

Free salad bar.

"Which one on table three has gone for the vegetarian option?"

At home with the leeches: 'No, you can't have a Quorn tartlet - just drink your blood and be quiet!'

"Tell your date you're a vegetarian before he orders that expensive gourmet dinner."

Yes, the salad was vegan. In fact, we even offered it first to all the bunnies in the area, each of whom insisted that, no, he was quite full, and he'd like you to have it.

Spinach Dating.

Broccoli reading: 'Coping with Anthropomorphism'.

'... And I now insert the brai ... Egor, this is a cauliflower.'

Rob and Maria dated for months, until the day he realized she was made entirely out of soy.

Vegetarian restaurant: 'Two vegetarians please.'

"I eat green but I don't vote green."

"Y a qué de la salade?"

"I'm leaning towards the health benefits of becoming a vegetarian."

'We're vegetarians now because the prey animals have formed a union.'

Eye Bank.

'What do you mean you're a vegetarian?'

'And I can do the procedure right here in my office.'

Midnight in the Vegetable Garden of Good and Evil.

"I'm surprised Tofurkey isn't more popular. It tastes nothing like turkey."