Botanical Humorists Gifts

'The bad news is, it didn't grow hair. The good news is, he's being featured in 'Better Homes and Gardens'.' (Quick Gro tub next to chair.)

'Couldn't Peter claim Mr. McGregor's garden was an 'attractive nuisance?'

'You must be Jim's new gardener. I'm his neighbour, Gerald. Had any luck with the Petunias this year? Aren't those Jim's feet sticking out of the ornamental pond?'

Medicinal plants

"When will somebody cut the grass?"

Flamingo on a bird table feeding from a shrimp container.

"There's got to be a better way to raise potatoes!"

'These spare Christmas decorations make perfect bird scarers.'

'Um. . . I don't think that's a candy bar.'

"I wouldn't take the name 'dog strangling vine' literally."

"Weeds are like kids. They grow up so fast."

Modern Witch Shoppe

Little Farm Shop of Horrors with G.M produce turned into man eating plant

Annual flower having a mid-life crisis in July

Bird baths with two different kinds of water - sparkling and still.

The beautiful but deadly 'Venus dog trap'.

Bird feeder being used by vultures.

"Must've planted those seeds upside down..."

'Fred's opinion of crab grass is if you can't beat it, join it.'

'The grass is always greener on the other side seed'.

'It's only a slug Norman.'

'Everybody's entitled to have a hobby. Mine's growing grass.'

"Where are the perineums?" "Aisle 3. Between the vaginas and the rectums."

A flower beats up another flower - Genetically Engineered plants tend to be more aggressive than naturally grown ones.

"When is it time to stop smelling the roses and suck up the nectar?"

Crazy paving company.

God builds the first lawn mower.

'What if your tree grows, Burl? Won't it choke to death?'

'We want the garden to be stamped with my husband's personality.'

"Yes, sir, it's Houstonia Michauxii and it prefers shade or semi-shade."

"Psst...The grass is a plant!"

'Look what my son gave me!'

Beware Of The Gnome - Look dear how quaint.

Trump Chia Pet

'Okay dear, it's your turn to go stand in the front yard.'