Botanical Humorists T-Shirts

'The bad news is, it didn't grow hair. The good news is, he's being featured in 'Better Homes and Gardens'.' (Quick Gro tub next to chair.)

'Couldn't Peter claim Mr. McGregor's garden was an 'attractive nuisance?'

'You must be Jim's new gardener. I'm his neighbour, Gerald. Had any luck with the Petunias this year? Aren't those Jim's feet sticking out of the ornamental pond?'

Medicinal plants

"When will somebody cut the grass?"

"There's got to be a better way to raise potatoes!"

Flamingo on a bird table feeding from a shrimp container.

'These spare Christmas decorations make perfect bird scarers.'

"Weeds are like kids. They grow up so fast."

"I wouldn't take the name 'dog strangling vine' literally."

Modern Witch Shoppe

'Um. . . I don't think that's a candy bar.'

Little Farm Shop of Horrors with G.M produce turned into man eating plant

Annual flower having a mid-life crisis in July

The beautiful but deadly 'Venus dog trap'.

Bird baths with two different kinds of water - sparkling and still.

Bird feeder being used by vultures.

"Must've planted those seeds upside down..."

'Fred's opinion of crab grass is if you can't beat it, join it.'

'The grass is always greener on the other side seed'.

'It's only a slug Norman.'

'Everybody's entitled to have a hobby. Mine's growing grass.'

"Yes, sir, it's Houstonia Michauxii and it prefers shade or semi-shade."

God builds the first lawn mower.

A flower beats up another flower - Genetically Engineered plants tend to be more aggressive than naturally grown ones.

"When is it time to stop smelling the roses and suck up the nectar?"

'What if your tree grows, Burl? Won't it choke to death?'

"Where are the perineums?" "Aisle 3. Between the vaginas and the rectums."

Crazy paving company.

'We want the garden to be stamped with my husband's personality.'

'Dear, I think the plants need watering.'

'Look what my son gave me!'

"Psst...The grass is a plant!"

'Okay dear, it's your turn to go stand in the front yard.'