Comical Botanist T-Shirts

Williamsii Carnia

"I don't know the Latin, but the common name is climbing onion."

Excellent crop! What's your secret?

'Remove the fur and claws and these genetically engineered apples taste just fine.'

"Weeds are like kids. They grow up so fast."

"I wouldn't take the name 'dog strangling vine' literally."

Little Farm Shop of Horrors with G.M produce turned into man eating plant

The beautiful but deadly 'Venus dog trap'.

Executive grows martinis in his garden.

"Where are the perineums?" "Aisle 3. Between the vaginas and the rectums."

"Yes, sir, it's Houstonia Michauxii and it prefers shade or semi-shade."

F&E Landscape Architects. Ground cover plants are the Peter Pan of landscape design. The never "grow up"!

"Can you believe we walked right past security?"

"Psst...The grass is a plant!"

'A remarkable specimen. It's a bonsai oak but badly affected by giantism.'

Woman Planting Flowers in her Snow Covered Garden.

Escaping Flowers

"The scientists never stopped to ask if they should - only if they could."

"Don't worry, the pain will stop once everything goes numb."

'I've decided to go straight!'

"I think it's a Spider Plant bite."

"I've discovered why it isn't cutting the grass properly - it's a vacuum cleaner."

Venus fly trap.

Mystery vegetable growing in plot.

Talk to your plants - but never enter a suicide pact with one.

Bathing Flowers.

"It's a crank call - just heavy transpiration."

"I see you've laid out your garden."

"...Father Gill would not accept that whistling could not be a substitute for water."

'Honey have you seen my Viagra'

"What seems to be the problem?"

Gardener's Calendar: Keep an eye open for pests

I've discovered green fingers are of little help if you've got bad breath.

Plants and Flowers Crack Jokes.

'You haven't been talking to it, you've been nagging it.'