Humble Snob Gifts

"I'd love to learn more about wine, but I'm barely tolerable as it is."

"Now I really hate poetry."

"Everything taste so divinely artisanal."

"Tracey, this is Gene. He also read the Nancy Reagan book in unbound galleys."

Man with wine glass face looks unhappy.

"Everybody comfortable? Got what they want? Know their place?"

I'm getting an ample full taste... I'm getting whimsical... I'm getting 'red'

Axel, I notice you read a lot of highbrow books

Sporting snobs talk about hunting on turnpike roads

'I may not know much about art. But, I don't know what I like either.'

"I wouldn't read that book, dear... it's only there to impress visitors."

"It's a postmodern mosaic, almost lyrical in its undercurrent." "My five-year-old will be happy to hear that."

The book is so much better than the film..

"I believe this is one of Rembrandt's earliest selfies."

"Another helping of pretentiousness, anyone?"

'New money or old money?'

"I used to write page-turners, but my MFA cured me of that."

" will enver read that book, and I"m eagerly waiting to avoid the movie."

"I don't wanna 'adult' today."

'Listen my man, I am not being condescending, I am just trying to use words I think you may be able to understand. . .'

Listen, just because he's moving from "fiction" to "literature" doesn't mean he's better than us.

'The review said drinking this wine is like drinking a Rembrandt. All I taste is the frame.'

"I keep asking you for ideas, Hibblemeyer, and you keep drawing blanks."

"I'm enrolled in a total immersion wine class."

"Hi! I haven't had a crap in months. Bon appetit!"

'She's so posh, she can make her wind sound like Verdi's 'Requiem'.'

David Cameron Parenting Classes: 'After registering them for Eton the next most important thing is selecting the right nanny!'

"We spent the summer on the Côte de Jersey."

Ned Thompson, unpretentious wine taster.

'I found it difficult to put down, but I will. It's trite rubbish.'

Fiction book sales.

'Great Books' 'Good Books' 'Trash'

"Regift the bicycle, Charles, but put this in my Panama pile."

The rivalry between the Hamptons and Cape Code spills over.

"I've taken a vow of chastity with guys living in poverty."