Snob Aficionado Gifts

'You've been down the pub drinking that Serret Cabernet Sauvignon 2003 again, haven't you?'

"You'll love this. It's swarthy yet munificent, didactic and gregarious with hints of dogma."

"It better not be any of that over oaked chardonnay."

Not to be a motion picture. Will remain just a book.

Every time you make a blend, somewhere, a wine maker dies.

"Everything taste so divinely artisanal."

Sign in book shop window: 'Critics agree the book is much better than the movie.'

'This wine is dreadful - try some.'

"I make it myself!"

"The wine has subtle hints of expensive pretension, but it's balanced nicely by the screw cap."

"In our house the four major food groups are Bordeaux, Merlot, Chardonnay and Champagne."

Wine tasting

Sporting snobs talk about hunting on turnpike roads

'My husband will order the wine. He happens to be a graduate of the 3-Second Master of Wine program.'

"When a wine rates over ninety, this is not alcoholism."

"Pinot Noir, God's apology for White Zinfandel."

'I may not know much about art. But, I don't know what I like either.'

"House red, sir?"

"Another helping of pretentiousness, anyone?"

'I'm a simple man really beneath the code words and the black ops and the multitude of fake passports.'

"It tastes and smells just like a glass of wine!"

When Pugs dream.

Prosecco Drinker

"I had no idea Dom Perignon came with a screw top."

"Herbert, don't! This is a gourmet coffee shop! You order instant de-caf and there's going to be trouble!"

"It's an unpretentious little wine!"

"What wine goes best with vodka?"

"I think it is most admirable," said Alice, "that you gave up a thriving law practice to be with this lovely child."

'Dear, of course no one can tell you what they think of the wine, you haven't told them how much it cost yet.'

"I love craft beer! It's opened an exciting new world of snobbery for me."

Gallery Guide

"How much do you spend on a decent bottle of wine?"

'Listen my man, I am not being condescending, I am just trying to use words I think you may be able to understand. . .'

"Yeah, he changed water into wine but it was nothing you'd want to lay down."

"I'm getting gnats, I'm getting cats, I'm getting dogs..."