Snobbery Aficionado Gifts

"Have you ever checked out London?"

"Regift the bicycle, Charles, but put this in my Panama pile."

"I'm enrolled in a total immersion wine class."

Artisanal Gases

The rivalry between the Hamptons and Cape Code spills over.

"My scintillating fragrant bouquet that precedes my exquisite floral, fruity palate, that swells and ebbs across the tongue with delicious..."

"We left the veldt when the hippos moved in, they were dragging the area down."

"Vintage? What would you like it to be?"

"It was a holiday I'll never forget...I saw life in the raw!"

'This wine is dreadful - try some.'

'As Chuck's definition of terroir dragged past the 20-minute mark, Suzy concluded, the longer the explanation, the less likely you know what the word means.'

'We're out of earshot now, so you can drop the phoney, Oxbridge accent.'

Man with wine glass face looks unhappy.

"I know you've been waiting a long time, but the Pearls were here before you."

'It's first flush Darjeeling darling!'

I'm getting an ample full taste... I'm getting whimsical... I'm getting 'red'

The simultaneous development of dining and pomposity.

Champagne at the hunt

'I may not know much about art. But, I don't know what I like either.'

'He's a very superior dog. Even his fleas have pedigrees!'

"Hints of migrant workers on the nose."

"It's a postmodern mosaic, almost lyrical in its undercurrent." "My five-year-old will be happy to hear that."

"Another helping of pretentiousness, anyone?"

'New money or old money?'

"It's all good – but some of it is better."

"C'mon dude, these are not your people."

Difference between regular and French onion soup? "When I serve the French onion soup, I sneer."

"I love craft beer! It's opened an exciting new world of snobbery for me."

Gallery Guide

"Nope, no need to smell the cork."

'Listen my man, I am not being condescending, I am just trying to use words I think you may be able to understand. . .'

'The review said drinking this wine is like drinking a Rembrandt. All I taste is the frame.'

'He's a mixed breed.'

David Cameron Parenting Classes: 'After registering them for Eton the next most important thing is selecting the right nanny!'

"Hi! I haven't had a crap in months. Bon appetit!"