Snobbery Enthusiast Gifts

'The review said drinking this wine is like drinking a Rembrandt. All I taste is the frame.'

'I may not know much about art. But, I don't know what I like either.'

"Hmmm ... interesting bouquet. What is this swill?"

Ah! Bejezus...for the love of Mike...This wine is corked

'Listen my man, I am not being condescending, I am just trying to use words I think you may be able to understand. . .'

'Black dots indicate actual creative involvement.'

"It was a holiday I'll never forget...I saw life in the raw!"

'This wine is dreadful - try some.'

'As Chuck's definition of terroir dragged past the 20-minute mark, Suzy concluded, the longer the explanation, the less likely you know what the word means.'

'We're out of earshot now, so you can drop the phoney, Oxbridge accent.'

Man with wine glass face looks unhappy.

"I know you've been waiting a long time, but the Pearls were here before you."

I'm getting an ample full taste... I'm getting whimsical... I'm getting 'red'

'It's first flush Darjeeling darling!'

The simultaneous development of dining and pomposity.

Champagne at the hunt

"Hints of migrant workers on the nose."

'He's a very superior dog. Even his fleas have pedigrees!'

"It's a postmodern mosaic, almost lyrical in its undercurrent." "My five-year-old will be happy to hear that."

'New money or old money?'

"C'mon dude, these are not your people."

"It's all good – but some of it is better."

"Can we go see 'Home Alone 2'? My friend Jeffrey says it's an important picture."

Difference between regular and French onion soup? "When I serve the French onion soup, I sneer."

"I love craft beer! It's opened an exciting new world of snobbery for me."

Gallery Guide

"Hi! I haven't had a crap in months. Bon appetit!"

"I'm enrolled in a total immersion wine class."

'She's so posh, she can make her wind sound like Verdi's 'Requiem'.'

David Cameron Parenting Classes: 'After registering them for Eton the next most important thing is selecting the right nanny!'

'That's quite a bit you're inheriting. I suppose you realize this will force you to start learning about wine.'

'He's a mixed breed.'

"We spent the summer on the Côte de Jersey."

"Of course, it's a very early Rembrandt."

" ..graduated with honours, great job, beautiful wife, great kids.. Sure we've all got a sad story to tell."