Snobbery Enthusiast Gifts

'The review said drinking this wine is like drinking a Rembrandt. All I taste is the frame.'

'I may not know much about art. But, I don't know what I like either.'

"Hmmm ... interesting bouquet. What is this swill?"

Ah! Bejezus...for the love of Mike...This wine is corked

"Another helping of pretentiousness, anyone?"

'Listen my man, I am not being condescending, I am just trying to use words I think you may be able to understand. . .'

'Black dots indicate actual creative involvement.'

"Vintage? What would you like it to be?"

"It was a holiday I'll never forget...I saw life in the raw!"

'As Chuck's definition of terroir dragged past the 20-minute mark, Suzy concluded, the longer the explanation, the less likely you know what the word means.'

'This wine is dreadful - try some.'

'We're out of earshot now, so you can drop the phoney, Oxbridge accent.'

Man with wine glass face looks unhappy.

"I know you've been waiting a long time, but the Pearls were here before you."

'It's first flush Darjeeling darling!'

I'm getting an ample full taste... I'm getting whimsical... I'm getting 'red'

The simultaneous development of dining and pomposity.

Champagne at the hunt

'He's a very superior dog. Even his fleas have pedigrees!'

"It's a postmodern mosaic, almost lyrical in its undercurrent." "My five-year-old will be happy to hear that."

"Hints of migrant workers on the nose."

'New money or old money?'

"Can we go see 'Home Alone 2'? My friend Jeffrey says it's an important picture."

"C'mon dude, these are not your people."

"It's all good – but some of it is better."

Difference between regular and French onion soup? "When I serve the French onion soup, I sneer."

Gallery Guide

"I love craft beer! It's opened an exciting new world of snobbery for me."

"Nope, no need to smell the cork."

'She's so posh, she can make her wind sound like Verdi's 'Requiem'.'

'That's quite a bit you're inheriting. I suppose you realize this will force you to start learning about wine.'

David Cameron Parenting Classes: 'After registering them for Eton the next most important thing is selecting the right nanny!'

'He's a mixed breed.'

"Hi! I haven't had a crap in months. Bon appetit!"

"I'm enrolled in a total immersion wine class."