Snobbery Gifts

"I'm enrolled in a total immersion wine class."

'They're nice, but do you really expect me to drink my imported Merlot from domestic Merlot glasses?'

I'm getting an ample full taste... I'm getting whimsical... I'm getting 'red'

Man with wine glass face looks unhappy.

"I really enjoyed that, but if anyone asks, don't you dare tell them we watched it."

"Vintage? What would you like it to be?"

Restaurant Francais: All you can pronounce £30.

"It was a holiday I'll never forget...I saw life in the raw!"

'As Chuck's definition of terroir dragged past the 20-minute mark, Suzy concluded, the longer the explanation, the less likely you know what the word means.'

'We're out of earshot now, so you can drop the phoney, Oxbridge accent.'

"I know you've been waiting a long time, but the Pearls were here before you."

"Everybody comfortable? Got what they want? Know their place?"

'It's first flush Darjeeling darling!'

Champagne at the hunt

The simultaneous development of dining and pomposity.

'I may not know much about art. But, I don't know what I like either.'

"I believe this is one of Rembrandt's earliest selfies."

"It's a postmodern mosaic, almost lyrical in its undercurrent." "My five-year-old will be happy to hear that."

"Another helping of pretentiousness, anyone?"

"Have we looked as though we know what it is, for long enough yet?"

'He's a very superior dog. Even his fleas have pedigrees!'

"Hints of migrant workers on the nose."

'New money or old money?'

"Can we go see 'Home Alone 2'? My friend Jeffrey says it's an important picture."

"C'mon dude, these are not your people."

"It's all good – but some of it is better."

Difference between regular and French onion soup? "When I serve the French onion soup, I sneer."

"I love craft beer! It's opened an exciting new world of snobbery for me."

'Listen my man, I am not being condescending, I am just trying to use words I think you may be able to understand. . .'

"Nope, no need to smell the cork."

'The review said drinking this wine is like drinking a Rembrandt. All I taste is the frame.'

'He's a mixed breed.'

'That's quite a bit you're inheriting. I suppose you realize this will force you to start learning about wine.'

"It's our latest objet d'art, of course we can't use it!"

David Cameron Parenting Classes: 'After registering them for Eton the next most important thing is selecting the right nanny!'