Snobbery Gifts

"I'm enrolled in a total immersion wine class."

'They're nice, but do you really expect me to drink my imported Merlot from domestic Merlot glasses?'

I'm getting an ample full taste... I'm getting whimsical... I'm getting 'red'

Man with wine glass face looks unhappy.

"I really enjoyed that, but if anyone asks, don't you dare tell them we watched it."

Restaurant Francais: All you can pronounce £30.

"It was a holiday I'll never forget...I saw life in the raw!"

'As Chuck's definition of terroir dragged past the 20-minute mark, Suzy concluded, the longer the explanation, the less likely you know what the word means.'

'We're out of earshot now, so you can drop the phoney, Oxbridge accent.'

'It's first flush Darjeeling darling!'

"Everybody comfortable? Got what they want? Know their place?"

"I know you've been waiting a long time, but the Pearls were here before you."

Champagne at the hunt

The simultaneous development of dining and pomposity.

'I may not know much about art. But, I don't know what I like either.'

'He's a very superior dog. Even his fleas have pedigrees!'

"I believe this is one of Rembrandt's earliest selfies."

"Have we looked as though we know what it is, for long enough yet?"

"Hints of migrant workers on the nose."

"It's a postmodern mosaic, almost lyrical in its undercurrent." "My five-year-old will be happy to hear that."

'New money or old money?'

"C'mon dude, these are not your people."

"Can we go see 'Home Alone 2'? My friend Jeffrey says it's an important picture."

"It's all good – but some of it is better."

Difference between regular and French onion soup? "When I serve the French onion soup, I sneer."

"I love craft beer! It's opened an exciting new world of snobbery for me."

'Listen my man, I am not being condescending, I am just trying to use words I think you may be able to understand. . .'

'The review said drinking this wine is like drinking a Rembrandt. All I taste is the frame.'

David Cameron Parenting Classes: 'After registering them for Eton the next most important thing is selecting the right nanny!'

'That's quite a bit you're inheriting. I suppose you realize this will force you to start learning about wine.'

'She's so posh, she can make her wind sound like Verdi's 'Requiem'.'

'He's a mixed breed.'

"It's our latest objet d'art, of course we can't use it!"

"We spent the summer on the Côte de Jersey."

"Of course, it's a very early Rembrandt."