Snobbery Humorist Gifts

"Excellent, but not fit for a king."

"I didn't spend $5.6 million on this place to get involved with the damn sunsets over New Jersey."

"Her master might be rich enough to pay for a French coiffeur, but she barks at the moon just like an ordinary mongrel."

"Vintage? What would you like it to be?"

"It was a holiday I'll never forget...I saw life in the raw!"

'This wine is dreadful - try some.'

'As Chuck's definition of terroir dragged past the 20-minute mark, Suzy concluded, the longer the explanation, the less likely you know what the word means.'

'We're out of earshot now, so you can drop the phoney, Oxbridge accent.'

Man with wine glass face looks unhappy.

"I know you've been waiting a long time, but the Pearls were here before you."

'It's first flush Darjeeling darling!'

I'm getting an ample full taste... I'm getting whimsical... I'm getting 'red'

The simultaneous development of dining and pomposity.

Champagne at the hunt

'I may not know much about art. But, I don't know what I like either.'

'He's a very superior dog. Even his fleas have pedigrees!'

"Another helping of pretentiousness, anyone?"

"Hints of migrant workers on the nose."

"Have we looked as though we know what it is, for long enough yet?"

"It's a postmodern mosaic, almost lyrical in its undercurrent." "My five-year-old will be happy to hear that."

'New money or old money?'

"C'mon dude, these are not your people."

"I don't wanna 'adult' today."

"It's all good – but some of it is better."

Difference between regular and French onion soup? "When I serve the French onion soup, I sneer."

"I love craft beer! It's opened an exciting new world of snobbery for me."

"Nope, no need to smell the cork."

'Listen my man, I am not being condescending, I am just trying to use words I think you may be able to understand. . .'

'The review said drinking this wine is like drinking a Rembrandt. All I taste is the frame.'

"It's our latest objet d'art, of course we can't use it!"

"I'm enrolled in a total immersion wine class."

"Hi! I haven't had a crap in months. Bon appetit!"

'That's quite a bit you're inheriting. I suppose you realize this will force you to start learning about wine.'

'He's a mixed breed.'

David Cameron Parenting Classes: 'After registering them for Eton the next most important thing is selecting the right nanny!'