Snobby Satire Gifts

"It's our latest objet d'art, of course we can't use it!"

"It was a holiday I'll never forget...I saw life in the raw!"

'This wine is dreadful - try some.'

'As Chuck's definition of terroir dragged past the 20-minute mark, Suzy concluded, the longer the explanation, the less likely you know what the word means.'

'We're out of earshot now, so you can drop the phoney, Oxbridge accent.'

Man with wine glass face looks unhappy.

"I know you've been waiting a long time, but the Pearls were here before you."

'It's first flush Darjeeling darling!'

I'm getting an ample full taste... I'm getting whimsical... I'm getting 'red'

The simultaneous development of dining and pomposity.

Champagne at the hunt

'I may not know much about art. But, I don't know what I like either.'

"Hints of migrant workers on the nose."

"I don't wanna 'adult' today."

"Herbert, don't! This is a gourmet coffee shop! You order instant de-caf and there's going to be trouble!"

"C'mon dude, these are not your people."

"It's all good – but some of it is better."

Difference between regular and French onion soup? "When I serve the French onion soup, I sneer."

"Give me insights on marketing to your age demographic...and I'll give you a bright shiny penny."

'Listen my man, I am not being condescending, I am just trying to use words I think you may be able to understand. . .'

'The review said drinking this wine is like drinking a Rembrandt. All I taste is the frame.'

David Cameron Parenting Classes: 'After registering them for Eton the next most important thing is selecting the right nanny!'

"I'm enrolled in a total immersion wine class."

'He's a mixed breed.'

'She's so posh, she can make her wind sound like Verdi's 'Requiem'.'

"I keep asking you for ideas, Hibblemeyer, and you keep drawing blanks."

"Hi! I haven't had a crap in months. Bon appetit!"

'That's quite a bit you're inheriting. I suppose you realize this will force you to start learning about wine.'

"We spent the summer on the Côte de Jersey."

"Of course, it's a very early Rembrandt."

"It's a couch, not a settee, you posh git!"

" ..graduated with honours, great job, beautiful wife, great kids.. Sure we've all got a sad story to tell."