Snobbery Skeptics Gifts

"Yuck. I could make better crêpes fourrées aux boeufs brouillés au parmesan myself."

"Vintage? What would you like it to be?"

Restaurant Francais: All you can pronounce £30.

"It was a holiday I'll never forget...I saw life in the raw!"

'As Chuck's definition of terroir dragged past the 20-minute mark, Suzy concluded, the longer the explanation, the less likely you know what the word means.'

'We're out of earshot now, so you can drop the phoney, Oxbridge accent.'

Man with wine glass face looks unhappy.

I'm getting an ample full taste... I'm getting whimsical... I'm getting 'red'

"I know you've been waiting a long time, but the Pearls were here before you."

'It's first flush Darjeeling darling!'

Champagne at the hunt

The simultaneous development of dining and pomposity.

'Brand X, the wine for those with indiscriminate taste.'

'I may not know much about art. But, I don't know what I like either.'

"Hints of migrant workers on the nose."

"Another helping of pretentiousness, anyone?"

"It's a postmodern mosaic, almost lyrical in its undercurrent." "My five-year-old will be happy to hear that."

"Have we looked as though we know what it is, for long enough yet?"

'He's a very superior dog. Even his fleas have pedigrees!'

'Ptuwah! This is tap water!'

'New money or old money?'

"C'mon dude, these are not your people."

"Can we go see 'Home Alone 2'? My friend Jeffrey says it's an important picture."

"It's all good – but some of it is better."

Difference between regular and French onion soup? "When I serve the French onion soup, I sneer."

"I love craft beer! It's opened an exciting new world of snobbery for me."

'Listen my man, I am not being condescending, I am just trying to use words I think you may be able to understand. . .'

"Nope, no need to smell the cork."

'The review said drinking this wine is like drinking a Rembrandt. All I taste is the frame.'

"Since Rover became a therapy dog, he's gotten uppity."

'That's quite a bit you're inheriting. I suppose you realize this will force you to start learning about wine.'

David Cameron Parenting Classes: 'After registering them for Eton the next most important thing is selecting the right nanny!'

"I'm enrolled in a total immersion wine class."

'He's a mixed breed.'

"We spent the summer on the Côte de Jersey."