Snobbery Appreciator Gifts

Elitist Humour For the Upper Class...

"Vintage? What would you like it to be?"

"Everything taste so divinely artisanal."

"It was a holiday I'll never forget...I saw life in the raw!"

'This wine is dreadful - try some.'

'As Chuck's definition of terroir dragged past the 20-minute mark, Suzy concluded, the longer the explanation, the less likely you know what the word means.'

'We're out of earshot now, so you can drop the phoney, Oxbridge accent.'

Man with wine glass face looks unhappy.

I'm getting an ample full taste... I'm getting whimsical... I'm getting 'red'

'It's first flush Darjeeling darling!'

"I know you've been waiting a long time, but the Pearls were here before you."

The simultaneous development of dining and pomposity.

Champagne at the hunt

'I may not know much about art. But, I don't know what I like either.'

"Hints of migrant workers on the nose."

'He's a very superior dog. Even his fleas have pedigrees!'

"It's a postmodern mosaic, almost lyrical in its undercurrent." "My five-year-old will be happy to hear that."

"Another helping of pretentiousness, anyone?"

'New money or old money?'

"C'mon dude, these are not your people."

"It's all good – but some of it is better."

"Herbert, don't! This is a gourmet coffee shop! You order instant de-caf and there's going to be trouble!"

Royal Picnic

Difference between regular and French onion soup? "When I serve the French onion soup, I sneer."

"I love craft beer! It's opened an exciting new world of snobbery for me."

"Nope, no need to smell the cork."

Ego Publishing: 'I'm sorry, but 'Slither A Mile In My Shoes' doesn't make any sense...'

Greeting Card Shop: No Rhyme or Reason Cards.

'Listen my man, I am not being condescending, I am just trying to use words I think you may be able to understand. . .'

'The review said drinking this wine is like drinking a Rembrandt. All I taste is the frame.'

Secateurs and non-secateurs

'That's quite a bit you're inheriting. I suppose you realize this will force you to start learning about wine.'

'He's a mixed breed.'

"I'm enrolled in a total immersion wine class."

'She's so posh, she can make her wind sound like Verdi's 'Requiem'.'