Hip Surgeon Gifts

Joint Replacement Specialist has 3 boxes on desk: "Hip", "Hip", "Hooray."

'OK, the old one's in my right hand, the donor's in my left. Rght?'

"Until the plaster sets, try not to laugh."

'I don't believe it. Five minutes after he gets the darn thing, he has an arrest!'

"She fell down stairs again, so this is her third hip."

"The good news is that your cardiac surgery was a complete success. The bad news is that we had to remove the song from your heart."

"Pollyanna, your teeth are shot. Stop sugar coating everything!"

No caption. (Man wearing a cast is in traction. He imagines sheep lining up to jump fence. Sheep also wear casts.)

'My boyfriend's a Cardiologist.'

'Nigel, what have I told you about bringing your work home with you?'

"I'm afraid you need knee surgery."

"It's probably a fracture - we'll do some imaging on it just to be sure."

'Have you picked out a domain name, yet?'

'Henry had a successful animal organ transplant - isn't that right, Henry?'

'So you're off to see the chiropodist... the only time in your life you shouldn't put your best foot forward!'

'My daughter read on the internet about a hip replacement with free built-in MP3 player,'

"I'm afraid, Mr. Cottontail, that all that hopping down the bunny trail has taken a toll on your hips."

'Now that's what I call rejection.'

'Very funny!'

'Do we have any oldies but goodies that you would care to hear?'

"My cardiologist taught me the value of heart work."

'Don't worry about your heart - it will last you till the end of your days. . .!'

Big slipper.

'You're going to need a hip-hoperation.'

"Whiplash..."

Body Building

Transcend Dental Medication: "Prepare to let go of the pain."

"I'm glad you think it's funny."

A faulty part from an independent supplier leads to the creation of a multibillion-dollar sports medicine profession.

'Non-alcohol beer, unsalted potato chips and tofu hot dogs? Why did you accept a party invitation from a cardiologist?'

Tooth fairy.

'What do you mean, you've had a change of heart?'

Cardiologist/Truckdiologist: Medical help for Trucks.

'Oh for heaven's sake, Jim... all he wants to do is perform a vasectomy on you.'

Elderly gent keeps his hip in a bottle