Heart Surgeon Gifts

Cardiologist Convention: 'Our next speaker will be speaking on other matters of the heart.'

'OK, the old one's in my right hand, the donor's in my left. Rght?'

'Great performance. He was going for a triple bypass, and he did a quadruple.'

'My boyfriend's a Cardiologist.'

'Sleep well, Mrs. Krantz. When you wake up again your heart will be as good as new!'

"Cardiac day patients?"

'No, those chest pains don't mean you're having a heart attack. You're just thumping your chest too hard.'

'Non-alcohol beer, unsalted potato chips and tofu hot dogs? Why did you accept a party invitation from a cardiologist?'

Dr. Simon had a hard time delivering his speech, what with the constant murmur in the room

'What do you mean, you've had a change of heart?'

"I can catch-you can't throw."

'Cardiac unit.'

'Hey, this guy has no heart. Why didn't somebody tell me he's an insurance company lobbyist?'

"It's from the hospital. They write that the warranty on your heart expires next Thursday. They wish you a hearty farewell!"

Pacemaker Payments.

'You need a heart transplant, maybe two.'

Cardiologist/Truckdiologist: Medical help for Trucks.

'Now that's what I call rejection.'

'Think of it as a valentine, not a heart transplant.'

Papal Bull.

Entering America's Heartland

"How can you mend...a broken heart?"

"Man, is that artery clogged or what?"

"I would not recommend you bypass heart surgery."

'Relax, dear. That's not your cardiogram. That's the stock market.'

'Your heart is slightly larger but that's because you're an animal lover.'

'It's got a nice beat and it's easy to dance to!'

'He was a bit of a showoff.'

"A heart transplant is not an option for a broken heart, Ms. Martin!"

"Be just a minute, folks. We got a hole between the atria and both ventricles. . ."

"Would you prefer the artificial heart made by Venn-Trexx, or the generic, which costs a lot less?"

"Remind me again, who's giving and who's receiving the heart valve?"

"I don't think that is an appropriate shirt for a cardiologist!"

A heart flies out during an operation.

"We can try and MEND a damaged heart, but not a BROKEN one."