Cardiac Surgeon Gifts

'OK, the old one's in my right hand, the donor's in my left. Rght?'

'I don't believe it. Five minutes after he gets the darn thing, he has an arrest!'

'No, those chest pains don't mean you're having a heart attack. You're just thumping your chest too hard.'

'I dunno mate - it's an old model. Probably not worth repairing.'

Balloon Animpalplasty.

'Cardiac unit.'

'Okay, let's have the thing. You know the thing. That muscley pumpy thing. For Pete's sake, the thing that came in the cooler."'

'Hey, this guy has no heart. Why didn't somebody tell me he's an insurance company lobbyist?'

'It looks right, but actually it's very, very wrong.'

'It seems your heart replaced the 'Boom-Boom' beat with a funny ringtone!'

'Your heart is slightly larger but that's because you're an animal lover.'

'Now that's what I call rejection.'

'I was able to bypass the main artery...But enough about my commute to work.'

"How can you mend...a broken heart?"

"Man, is that artery clogged or what?"

Road sign indicating Heart of England and Triple Bypass.

'Haha, just kidding! I'm Greg the plumber, not your heart surgeon!'

Heart ailments

'No, I'm not the famous heart surgeon, but I charge exactly what he charges...'

'Gasp! Wheez! Nobody told me that once you have a heart you also need cardio!'

'Well, I'll be...look at this...there's a song in his heart!'

"Look! There's a song in his heart."

Change Of Heart

"The good news is that your cardiac surgery was a complete success. The bad news is that we had to remove the song from your heart."

Surgeon

'I have a very stressful job. The doctor said my condition was induced by job related stress. Luckily, the bypass surgery is one of my executive perks.'

'Caring for his patient's welfare, Doctor McWit goes with the two second, not the five second rule.'

'He really put his heart into it.'

"Surprise!"

'Would you be my Valentine?'

"This is the heart transplant patient."

"Meet our new heart specialist."

'After we've given you a new heart we make you a ham sandwich!'

Bypass and Cardiac Clinic

"Guess what, Findley? He really does have a heart of gold!"