Cardiographer Gifts

Dead Man Presents Flat Line At Meeting

'My feet are killing me.'

'You've hit the fitness plateau.'

'OK, the old one's in my right hand, the donor's in my left. Rght?'

QUINTUPLE BYPASSES EXPLAINED.

'I don't believe it. Five minutes after he gets the darn thing, he has an arrest!'

Medical Building Directory: Dr. Larry Nix, Dr. Sally Putty, etc..

"Your bad cholesterol is trying to persuade your good cholesterol to switch sides."

Good Cop/Bad Cholesterol

"If we carry them home we’ll get at least one workout."

'We subpoenaed all of 'Mr. Big's' electronic messages. They're in morse code.'

Running

"OK, ready to go again?"

Hildegard von Bingen

"I work out in preparation for being out of shape for the next 30 years."

"Only three more miles and tonight we're good for tiramisu!"

'...and now, Gentlemen, we come to our final lecture in advanced cardiology...'

Now that you have a heart, you really should switch to polyunsaturated oil.

"The good news is that your cardiac surgery was a complete success. The bad news is that we had to remove the song from your heart."

The Map of the Human Heart

"Hurry, stop him!" (Dog running off with bone from man's x-ray).

'My boyfriend's a Cardiologist.'

'Not feeling well? Don't be silly - your EKG has outperformed the Dow.'

'Me? I took my cardio to the next level.'

"Heart transplant surgery waiting room"

'C'mon, c'mon! I want to be the first one on the stair-climbing machine!'

"You'll have to forgive Roland. He still uses 'stomach' and 'abdominals' interchangeably."

"I have to get down to 125 pounds before I go back to my real gym."

Dr. Saltine, pioneer of salt transplants.

"I just reached 1000 jumps."

'He said he won't give me a new heart unless I change my lifestyle.'

"...we have a heart-lung-kidney-liver-spleen machine."

'As a matter of fact, I have the heart of a 30-year-old woman.'

"Grandmother, what big diastolic numbers you have."

"Jerry's blood pressure jumped to a six month high on News of the dollar's weakness."