Cardiac Specialist Gifts

Balloon Animpalplasty.

'OK, the old one's in my right hand, the donor's in my left. Rght?'

'Is there another doctor in the house? He wants a second opinion.'

QUINTUPLE BYPASSES EXPLAINED.

'I don't believe it. Five minutes after he gets the darn thing, he has an arrest!'

Medical Building Directory: Dr. Larry Nix, Dr. Sally Putty, etc..

'I'm going to refer you to a specialist in that yucky feeling.'

Good Cop/Bad Cholesterol

"Your bad cholesterol is trying to persuade your good cholesterol to switch sides."

'...and now, Gentlemen, we come to our final lecture in advanced cardiology...'

Now that you have a heart, you really should switch to polyunsaturated oil.

"The good news is that your cardiac surgery was a complete success. The bad news is that we had to remove the song from your heart."

'My boyfriend's a Cardiologist.'

'Not feeling well? Don't be silly - your EKG has outperformed the Dow.'

Dr. Saltine, pioneer of salt transplants.

"Heart transplant surgery waiting room"

'He said he won't give me a new heart unless I change my lifestyle.'

'As a matter of fact, I have the heart of a 30-year-old woman.'

"...we have a heart-lung-kidney-liver-spleen machine."

"Grandmother, what big diastolic numbers you have."

"Jerry's blood pressure jumped to a six month high on News of the dollar's weakness."

'Henry had a successful animal organ transplant - isn't that right, Henry?'

'Have you forgotten, dear, that you gave your heart to me in nineteen ninety one?'

"Assisting me with this delicate procedure is Dr. Warren. He's one of the top specialists in avoiding malpractice suits."

Your heart is doing well with the pig valve we put in. Now, what was your question?

Desert Dermatologist

"Are you sure you're not holding your breath?"

'What do you mean you're the new Paediatric Specialist?'

Medical Examinations.

'I believe we got your blood pressure back up to normal.'

Radiology, Cardiology and Fertility Clinic.

'Now that's what I call rejection.'

'Gastroenterology...do I know that?'

Cardiologist Henry Weil like to add some levity before surgery by hiding a whoopee cushion on the operating table.

"The medic said he died of an ST-segment-elevated myocardial infarction -- Jack was always a showoff."