Cardiologist Gifts

Cardiologist Convention: 'Our next speaker will be speaking on other matters of the heart.'

'Hey, Lori! Take a look at Mr. Geckler's EKG!'

"I am not the famous heart surgeon, but I am in his medical group."

Heart Research Centre on top of a hill.

'The bad news is that we've detected an irregular heartbeat. The good news is that the rhythm is irresistible!'

"We'll widen the clogged artery by inserting a balloon."

'Irregular heartbeat. Due to irregular exercise.'

Claire discovers the The Clapper operates on the same frequency as Don's pacemaker.

'Your left ventricle doesn't know what your right ventricle is doing.'

Pacemakers.

'Picked one you like yet?'

'It's not looking good. His pulse is up to 202 just from getting out of the chair and stepping on to the treadmill.'

'You have an irregular, catchy heartbeat.'

"I eat cheap greasy food so I can save for my cardiologist bills in the future."

'I believe we got your blood pressure back up to normal.'

"Okay, Mr. Collins, let's see how that old heart of yours is doing."

'Now, remember the routine. You're good cholesterol and I'm bad cholesterol.'

Exercising your heart.

'When I use my iPod, my implantable defibrillator kicks in.'

'He said he won't give me a new heart unless I change my lifestyle.'

'My boyfriend's a Cardiologist.'

'His pacemaker keeps opening and shutting the garage door.'

I'm sure if I moved to a fresh water environment, my hypertension would abate.

"You seem to have a song in your heart."

"Be still, my atrial fibrillations!"

'Unfortunately, your satellite dish is interfering with your pacemaker. The good news is: you'll be dreaming in high definition surround sound.'

'I don't believe it. Five minutes after he gets the darn thing, he has an arrest!'

'Not feeling well? Don't be silly - your EKG has outperformed the Dow.'

'I am going to test your heart under stress. Listen to what I am shouting. BILLION DOLLAR CORPORATIONS LEGALLY AVOID INCOME TAX.'

'Does BRIGGS AND STRATTON make a heart monitor? Their small engines are very reliable.'

dog reading EKG

Man sees sign on hospital: 'Heart Surgeons Wanted' 'Immediate Openings'

'You need a heart valve replacement. We have staff going down to a nearby farm to look for a donor.'

'Talk about high-tech! You'll be getting a pacemaker ipod combo.'

"Cardiac day patients?"