Cardiologist Pillows

Cardiologist Convention: 'Our next speaker will be speaking on other matters of the heart.'

"I am not the famous heart surgeon, but I am in his medical group."

Heart Research Centre on top of a hill.

"We'll widen the clogged artery by inserting a balloon."

'The bad news is that we've detected an irregular heartbeat. The good news is that the rhythm is irresistible!'

'Irregular heartbeat. Due to irregular exercise.'

'Your left ventricle doesn't know what your right ventricle is doing.'

'Picked one you like yet?'

'You have an irregular, catchy heartbeat.'

"I eat cheap greasy food so I can save for my cardiologist bills in the future."

"Okay, Mr. Collins, let's see how that old heart of yours is doing."

'I believe we got your blood pressure back up to normal.'

Exercising your heart.

'Now, remember the routine. You're good cholesterol and I'm bad cholesterol.'

'He said he won't give me a new heart unless I change my lifestyle.'

'When I use my iPod, my implantable defibrillator kicks in.'

'His pacemaker keeps opening and shutting the garage door.'

I'm sure if I moved to a fresh water environment, my hypertension would abate.

'My boyfriend's a Cardiologist.'

"Be still, my atrial fibrillations!"

"You seem to have a song in your heart."

'I don't believe it. Five minutes after he gets the darn thing, he has an arrest!'

'Unfortunately, your satellite dish is interfering with your pacemaker. The good news is: you'll be dreaming in high definition surround sound.'

Man sees sign on hospital: 'Heart Surgeons Wanted' 'Immediate Openings'

'Talk about high-tech! You'll be getting a pacemaker ipod combo.'

dog reading EKG

"Cardiac day patients?"

'You need a heart valve replacement. We have staff going down to a nearby farm to look for a donor.'

'Not feeling well? Don't be silly - your EKG has outperformed the Dow.'

'I am going to test your heart under stress. Listen to what I am shouting. BILLION DOLLAR CORPORATIONS LEGALLY AVOID INCOME TAX.'

"While you were under, I had all your friends come in and sign your heart stent."

Medical floor directory follows body parts.

Blessed are the pacemakers.

Bob's Heart Valves 'N' Stuff (store is open)

Dr. Simon had a hard time delivering his speech, what with the constant murmur in the room