Cardiologists Pillows

'I had to have my pacemaker readjusted since I asked Jesus into my heart.'

'My feet are killing me.'

'You've hit the fitness plateau.'

'OK, the old one's in my right hand, the donor's in my left. Rght?'

"Don't worry, they normally look like little humans during the early scans."

QUINTUPLE BYPASSES EXPLAINED.

"I need a deeper access to his brain. Only google has the records."

'I don't believe it. Five minutes after he gets the darn thing, he has an arrest!'

Medical Building Directory: Dr. Larry Nix, Dr. Sally Putty, etc..

"Would you please step back to the machine while I make an adjustment?"

Good Cop/Bad Cholesterol

"Your bad cholesterol is trying to persuade your good cholesterol to switch sides."

"If we carry them home we’ll get at least one workout."

'No, Mr. Simmons, your MR images aren't in yet. We have older equipment, which takes a little longer to process.'

Hildegard von Bingen

'We subpoenaed all of 'Mr. Big's' electronic messages. They're in morse code.'

"Only three more miles and tonight we're good for tiramisu!"

'...and now, Gentlemen, we come to our final lecture in advanced cardiology...'

"I work out in preparation for being out of shape for the next 30 years."

Running

'He's got abdominal pain, dizziness and soreness in his extremities. I'll know more when I see X-rays...'

Pregnant women having a ultrasound done.

Doctor performing an ultrasound on a Russian nesting doll

"The good news is that your cardiac surgery was a complete success. The bad news is that we had to remove the song from your heart."

Wilhelm Rontgen's first attempt at X-rays: shining a bright light through Madame Rontgen.

"A CAT scan? Are you sure?"

"Hurry, stop him!" (Dog running off with bone from man's x-ray).

'My boyfriend's a Cardiologist.'

'Not feeling well? Don't be silly - your EKG has outperformed the Dow.'

Cat Scan

'Me? I took my cardio to the next level.'

"I know — but he was nervous and his support dog didn’t seem to mind."

"I have to get down to 125 pounds before I go back to my real gym."

Dr. Saltine, pioneer of salt transplants.