Heart Surgeon Pillows

Cardiologist Convention: 'Our next speaker will be speaking on other matters of the heart.'

'OK, the old one's in my right hand, the donor's in my left. Rght?'

'Great performance. He was going for a triple bypass, and he did a quadruple.'

'My boyfriend's a Cardiologist.'

'Sleep well, Mrs. Krantz. When you wake up again your heart will be as good as new!'

"Cardiac day patients?"

'Non-alcohol beer, unsalted potato chips and tofu hot dogs? Why did you accept a party invitation from a cardiologist?'

Dr. Simon had a hard time delivering his speech, what with the constant murmur in the room

'What do you mean, you've had a change of heart?'

"I can catch-you can't throw."

'Cardiac unit.'

'Hey, this guy has no heart. Why didn't somebody tell me he's an insurance company lobbyist?'

"It's from the hospital. They write that the warranty on your heart expires next Thursday. They wish you a hearty farewell!"

'You need a heart transplant, maybe two.'

'He was a bit of a showoff.'

Cardiologist/Truckdiologist: Medical help for Trucks.

'It's got a nice beat and it's easy to dance to!'

'Your heart is slightly larger but that's because you're an animal lover.'

'Relax, dear. That's not your cardiogram. That's the stock market.'

"I would not recommend you bypass heart surgery."

"How can you mend...a broken heart?"

Entering America's Heartland

Papal Bull.

'Think of it as a valentine, not a heart transplant.'

'Now that's what I call rejection.'

"We can try and MEND a damaged heart, but not a BROKEN one."

'Gasp! Wheez! Nobody told me that once you have a heart you also need cardio!'

"The pacemaker implant was fine. But you need to remember the password."

"It really breaks my heart having to let all these good people go. Luckily my brother is a heart surgeon."

"Oh no! You, again?"

Heart ailments

"Look! There's a song in his heart."

"A heart transplant is not an option for a broken heart, Ms. Martin!"

"Would you prefer the artificial heart made by Venn-Trexx, or the generic, which costs a lot less?"

"Remind me again, who's giving and who's receiving the heart valve?"