Heart Surgeons Pillows

The jobless blacksmith screwed up the heart surgeon re-education.

'OK, the old one's in my right hand, the donor's in my left. Rght?'

QUINTUPLE BYPASSES EXPLAINED.

"First time pruning?"

'I don't believe it. Five minutes after he gets the darn thing, he has an arrest!'

Medical Building Directory: Dr. Larry Nix, Dr. Sally Putty, etc..

Good Cop/Bad Cholesterol

"Your bad cholesterol is trying to persuade your good cholesterol to switch sides."

"In my life, I've had seven cars, six jobs, five houses, four bypass operations, and three wives!"

'...and now, Gentlemen, we come to our final lecture in advanced cardiology...'

"Pollyanna, your teeth are shot. Stop sugar coating everything!"

"The good news is that your cardiac surgery was a complete success. The bad news is that we had to remove the song from your heart."

'My boyfriend's a Cardiologist.'

'Not feeling well? Don't be silly - your EKG has outperformed the Dow.'

Dr. Saltine, pioneer of salt transplants.

"Heart transplant surgery waiting room"

'He said he won't give me a new heart unless I change my lifestyle.'

"...we have a heart-lung-kidney-liver-spleen machine."

'As a matter of fact, I have the heart of a 30-year-old woman.'

"Jerry's blood pressure jumped to a six month high on News of the dollar's weakness."

"Grandmother, what big diastolic numbers you have."

'Henry had a successful animal organ transplant - isn't that right, Henry?'

'Have you forgotten, dear, that you gave your heart to me in nineteen ninety one?'

"Are you sure you're not holding your breath?"

"That's enough about the noggin and the schnoz. Let's move on to the tummy-wummy and the keister."

'I believe we got your blood pressure back up to normal.'

'So, how much to remove this ugly old tree? $1750. It's not THAT ugly.'

"Before I start. . . . are you sure pruning doesn't violate the tree's rights?"

Unbeknownst to many, the Frankenstein legend was in fact based on Albert Grimes, the mad tree surgeon.

Radiology, Cardiology and Fertility Clinic.

'Now that's what I call rejection.'