Heart Surgeons T-Shirts

The jobless blacksmith screwed up the heart surgeon re-education.

'OK, the old one's in my right hand, the donor's in my left. Rght?'

QUINTUPLE BYPASSES EXPLAINED.

"First time pruning?"

'I don't believe it. Five minutes after he gets the darn thing, he has an arrest!'

Medical Building Directory: Dr. Larry Nix, Dr. Sally Putty, etc..

"Your bad cholesterol is trying to persuade your good cholesterol to switch sides."

Good Cop/Bad Cholesterol

'...and now, Gentlemen, we come to our final lecture in advanced cardiology...'

"In my life, I've had seven cars, six jobs, five houses, four bypass operations, and three wives!"

"The good news is that your cardiac surgery was a complete success. The bad news is that we had to remove the song from your heart."

"Pollyanna, your teeth are shot. Stop sugar coating everything!"

Now that you have a heart, you really should switch to polyunsaturated oil.

'My boyfriend's a Cardiologist.'

'Not feeling well? Don't be silly - your EKG has outperformed the Dow.'

'Nigel, what have I told you about bringing your work home with you?'

"Heart transplant surgery waiting room"

Dr. Saltine, pioneer of salt transplants.

'He said he won't give me a new heart unless I change my lifestyle.'

'Wilkins! Keep your eyes on your own cadaver!'

"...we have a heart-lung-kidney-liver-spleen machine."

'As a matter of fact, I have the heart of a 30-year-old woman.'

"Grandmother, what big diastolic numbers you have."

"Jerry's blood pressure jumped to a six month high on News of the dollar's weakness."

'Have you forgotten, dear, that you gave your heart to me in nineteen ninety one?'

'Henry had a successful animal organ transplant - isn't that right, Henry?'

"That's enough about the noggin and the schnoz. Let's move on to the tummy-wummy and the keister."

"Are you sure you're not holding your breath?"

Your heart is doing well with the pig valve we put in. Now, what was your question?

'I believe we got your blood pressure back up to normal.'

'So, how much to remove this ugly old tree? $1750. It's not THAT ugly.'

Radiology, Cardiology and Fertility Clinic.

"Maybe I needed a brain also! I left my heart in San Francisco!"

Unbeknownst to many, the Frankenstein legend was in fact based on Albert Grimes, the mad tree surgeon.

"Before I start. . . . are you sure pruning doesn't violate the tree's rights?"