Reconstructive Surgeon Gifts

'Not to worry - if the need arises, my partner does re-constructive surgery.'

'Honey, I wish you wouldn't bring your work home with you!'

Heart surgeon tastooing patients heart with "Love".

"If you don't want stitches, that's fine. Suture self."

'OK, the old one's in my right hand, the donor's in my left. Rght?'

'Is there another doctor in the house? He wants a second opinion.'

"I've done this procedure so often I could do it in my sleep. But that's only happened twice – that I'll admit to."

Ice Cream Surgeon

Doctor describes inside guts while patient has black thoughts.

"Until the plaster sets, try not to laugh."

"... And finally, I’d like to thank the FDA for approving Botox."

"I'm afraid we'll have to operate. Your appendix has an infection and it's extremely aggressive."

Summer 2000: Children stumble upon the remains of Linda Tripp's old head.

"And I want you to meet Coco, your anesthesiologist."

Doctor pulling golf caddy sees patient pulling oxygen caddy.

'I don't believe it. Five minutes after he gets the darn thing, he has an arrest!'

Swiss army hospital...'scalpel...'

Surgeon finds a doohickey on the patient's thingamabob.

Medical Building Directory: Dr. Larry Nix, Dr. Sally Putty, etc..

'My mom's the greatest surgeon this side of Mayo brothers.'

Haute Suture

"My, grandma, what a big nose you have! Let's take a little off the sides."

"I never thought turning eighty would be so much fun!"

'ooh! A womb with a view.'

'Maybe it is psychosomatic.'

'But they told me to take her down to theatre...'

"That's an awfully large small intestine and an awfully small large intestine."

There's no such thing as a triple carburetor bypass!

Robodoc... the NHS surgeon of the future.

"Surgery up here is free!"

"She fell down stairs again, so this is her third hip."

"In case something happens during the surgery and you become incapacitated, have you designated someone to make poor life choices on your behalf?"

The operation was going extremely well, but then very unexpectedly, he got trampled.

Meanwhile in Hollywood