Reconstructive Surgeon Gifts

'Not to worry - if the need arises, my partner does re-constructive surgery.'

'Honey, I wish you wouldn't bring your work home with you!'

Heart surgeon tastooing patients heart with "Love".

"If you don't want stitches, that's fine. Suture self."

'OK, the old one's in my right hand, the donor's in my left. Rght?'

"I've done this procedure so often I could do it in my sleep. But that's only happened twice – that I'll admit to."

'Is there another doctor in the house? He wants a second opinion.'

Ice Cream Surgeon

Doctor describes inside guts while patient has black thoughts.

"Until the plaster sets, try not to laugh."

"I'm afraid we'll have to operate. Your appendix has an infection and it's extremely aggressive."

Summer 2000: Children stumble upon the remains of Linda Tripp's old head.

"And I want you to meet Coco, your anesthesiologist."

"... And finally, I’d like to thank the FDA for approving Botox."

Doctor pulling golf caddy sees patient pulling oxygen caddy.

'I don't believe it. Five minutes after he gets the darn thing, he has an arrest!'

Surgeon finds a doohickey on the patient's thingamabob.

Swiss army hospital...'scalpel...'

Medical Building Directory: Dr. Larry Nix, Dr. Sally Putty, etc..

"My, grandma, what a big nose you have! Let's take a little off the sides."

Haute Suture

'My mom's the greatest surgeon this side of Mayo brothers.'

"I never thought turning eighty would be so much fun!"

'But they told me to take her down to theatre...'

'Maybe it is psychosomatic.'

'ooh! A womb with a view.'

Young Dr. Dolittle.

"That's an awfully large small intestine and an awfully small large intestine."

There's no such thing as a triple carburetor bypass!

"Surgery up here is free!"

Robodoc... the NHS surgeon of the future.

The operation was going extremely well, but then very unexpectedly, he got trampled.

Meanwhile in Hollywood

"In case something happens during the surgery and you become incapacitated, have you designated someone to make poor life choices on your behalf?"

Why can't you just chew the squeaker out like normal dogs?