Colorectal Surgeons Gifts

Proctologists on Thanksgiving

'OK, the old one's in my right hand, the donor's in my left. Rght?'

"Oh, I like coming to the dentists. It's the only place where people actually ask me to spit!"

"Until the plaster sets, try not to laugh."

Summer 2000: Children stumble upon the remains of Linda Tripp's old head.

"Four years of dental school only to tell all my patients 'Don't worry about any tooth issues - they'll just fall out and be replaced, anyway'."

"First time pruning?"

The tooth fairy.

"... And finally, I’d like to thank the FDA for approving Botox."

'I don't believe it. Five minutes after he gets the darn thing, he has an arrest!'

"I did the best dental health poster in the class. I just hope Mr. Tooth Decay doesn't hold a grudge."

Medical Building Directory: Dr. Larry Nix, Dr. Sally Putty, etc..

"My, grandma, what a big nose you have! Let's take a little off the sides."

"I never thought turning eighty would be so much fun!"

Meanwhile in Hollywood

"She fell down stairs again, so this is her third hip."

"No, Doris, not implants!"

"Pollyanna, your teeth are shot. Stop sugar coating everything!"

"The good news is that your cardiac surgery was a complete success. The bad news is that we had to remove the song from your heart."

'My boyfriend's a Cardiologist.'

'Nigel, what have I told you about bringing your work home with you?'

Oct. 1982: Researchers attempt an ill-fated procedure in great white shark oral hygiene.

Do you think I'm sixty?

"Really? You can make me look younger!"

"He wants to be a plastic surgeon when he grows up."

"Since you're going to the dentist, I bought you a giant lollipop to go out in style."

'Maybe a helium boob job wasn't such a good idea,babe!'

"I'm afraid you need knee surgery."

'What kind of filling would you like?'

'What happend? I thought you went to the dentist for a cleaning.'

'My secret? Stay away from Halloween candy.'

Surgeon carving a chicken/turkey.

'Have you picked out a domain name, yet?'

'I did have a tummy-tuck...But I opted for reconstruction surgery at the same time.'

Improvised Dentistry.