Creative Surgeon Gifts

'And you all thought I didn't have a hobby.'

"He wants to be a plastic surgeon when he grows up."

'Wilkins! Keep your eyes on your own cadaver!'

Surgeon carving a chicken/turkey.

'Giles is a surgeon who likes to bring his work home with him.'

Writer Services: We fix plot holes.

Culinary surgery.

"That's enough about the noggin and the schnoz. Let's move on to the tummy-wummy and the keister."

Well, the doctor said you have to wear it until you stop biting your stitches.

Body Building

Might be time to lighten up on those collagen implants, hon.

"For keyhole turkey carving we use a 12 mm port in each flank and third in the midline."

Dog Walker

'It's for cutting and pasting.'

"It's the hospital board performing surgery on the budget."

"There was a system failure that caused a brief crash, but fortunately I was able to reboot."

Woman leaves cosmetic surgery as her waste skin is dumped in skip.

"He said he's upgraded to selfie sticks."

How The Elephant Lost Her Trunk

"Dad! Color inside the lines!"

Sailor's pipe is a ship's funnel.

Nice custom job, Bill!

"Knife...fork..."

"I'm not a mad scientist - I'm just a disappointed scientist."

"Nurse, could you please click Ok?"

"Nothing beats the thrill of operating beyond one's competence."

'It's a routine operation.'

"I have a complaint about my bill."

"Curl your fingers to avoid cuts when slicing or chopping...I learned that trick on a TV cooking show!"

That lawn maintenance gizmo is advertised to have 101 uses. Leave it to Fred to find 102.

'If you're so easily grossed out, why did you go to medical school?'

'What wine goes with the Hippocratic Oath- my nephew graduated from medical school.'

'Before' 'After' - witch at plastic surgeon.

Surgeon and Fishmonger

"I sympathize. It's weird for me too."